An engaged heiress is terrorized by a middle-aged woman on a horse pleading with her not to go through with her impending marriage. It turns out that the harasser is herself – but from the future. What do we learn from this? You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. Or some other cheesy shit like that.

Anyways, some moron on IMDB were kind enough to enter this trivia:

The title refers to the common expression “The spur of the moment” which means that actions are done in haste without reflection or preparation as to the consequences.

No shit, Sherlock. Spur of the Moment was good. But I can’t for the world wonder why the hell the girl-from-the-future used some motherfucking scare tactics to convince her former self. That’s retarded. Just look at her in the picture below. Would you stop to have a chat with her? No. Of course not.

Stupid bitch.

First of all: Computers were fucking huge back then. Second of all: Why the hell does the computer (Agnes) sound like a fucking pling plong machine from a low-budget electronic company? Computers don’t sound like that. If they did, I would shoot them. Instantly. Boom headshot!

Anyways. What it is about is a computer technician who begins to take advice for his love life from Agnes, the computer he works with. What he doesn’t know is that the computer is in love with him. And it doesn’t want him involved in other women. So the advice it gives is…. well, not all good (except one thing: “All women are the same. Yep, trust me.”).

Averagely good episode, but the total nerdiness and social handicap that our main nerd suffers from just makes it hard to watch. I feel embarassed for him.

A classic ghost story about dead people calling on the phone. To an old woman. But she wants nothing of it, so she tells the unknown voice to go away. Unfortunately, it may not be what she ulitmately wants. But she made her own bed, and now she’s got to suffer the consequences. Night Call is one of those classic episodes that you will remember for ever (and which concept has been copied numerous times in other movies).

Thumbs up!

To make  a 25-minutes story short: three leather jacket wearing, motorcycle riding men invade a peaceful neighborhood. Or not really invade. They more like… settle in. But they disrupt the radio and TV transmissions, making a neighbour a bit irritated. It turns out that these motorcycle dudes originates from a place far from here.

I liked Black Leather Jackets. Despite that the MC gear they’re wearing looks retarded, it still had a nice story (The Day The Earth Stood Still called and wanted its script back), and a nice, gloomy finishing touch.

Conformity. Conformity sucks. And Number 12 Looks Just Like You shows that. In a future society everyone must undergo an operation at age 19 to become beautiful and conform to society. One young woman desperately wants to hold onto her own identity.

In the end, she fails. The Society overcomes her. And in fact, she does look better. But that’s not the point. The point is that individuality is important. Just like liberals say, and they are completely right. F-ing communists to try to fold everyone to a common image. I hate them.

So considering the political aspects of the episode, it was good. But other than that, nothing special.

One of the longest titels ever. The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross is about this player, Saladore Ross, who has a unique talent where he can trade physical characteristics with other people and will do anything to get the love of Leah Maitland. A girl with a dad in a wheelchair who doesn’t really like Salvadore, just because he can see how rotten he actually is.

The idea is cool, the execution is nice, but the story as such is quite dull. It’s not exciting enough. There is a minor twist in the end, but it’s not Twilight-Zoneish enough to be in the high league. I’m sorry.

Before leaving on a decades long (40 years) mission, astronaut Douglas Stansfield meets a woman and falls in love. They use some kind of cryosleep to make him not age on his voyage. The girl he fell in love with thinks the same. Unfortunately they are not fully synchronized.

What did we learn about this, kids? Communication is of the essence. No bullshit.

The Long Morrow is a sad story, with some great monologues. Monologues perfect for sampling for a hardstyle or hardcore track. Someone up for it?

Red is a fantastic movie. You probably haven’t even heard of it. Red stands for many things. One of them is Redemption. And that is what it is all about. This old man is out fishing with his lovely, trusty dog Red. Then three jackass teens show up. They were out hunting, but they suck. So they decide to rob the old man instead (well, the “leader” of the gang decides that – the other two just plays along).

But that’s not enough for them. They shoot the dog too. They shoot him point blanc with a shotgun. Of course Red dies, and the old man is devastated. Red was the only thing he had left after losing his wife and everything a couple of years ago. Those motherfuckers took away the last thing he ever had. Red was also the last memory he had of his wife (Red was a gift to him from her).

As anyone would do, he demands justice. But the chickenshit fuckfaces who almost call themselves men don’t admit what they have done. Their pussy to father who hits his wife is also protecting the boys even though he knows what they have done.

There’s just one thing they don’t know. They don’t know who they are fucking with, and they have a lot of shit in store that waits for them…

Red is absolutely fantastic. You don’t have any well-renowned actors (except Robert Englund who plays a minor part. I don’t consider neither Brian Cox nor Tom Sizemore to be of the elite), but the whole god damn cast does an excellent job. The characters have depth. The story is solid. The plot is touching. The fate of the old man is intriguing. The tension is breath taking. Of course there are some really solid fight/shooting scenes, and these are solid too. But they don’t make it into an action movie, which would have ruined everything.

The old man is so much kickass as you can get. He’s like Justice incarnated. I love it.

Redemption. It’s perhaps the best shit I’ve ever seen in a long time. It’s some really heavy and appealing stuff right there.

Go and see it!

You Drive is about guilty conscience. An old boring man accidentially kills the local paper boy on his bike when he’s driving and is thinking about his job. (Although the force of the crash would not even be enough to give anyone scrape wounds… but hey, it’s the Twilight Zone, no?).

Anyways. What happens next is that he is hauned by his own car. The more the car haunts him, the worse his guilty conscience gets. It’s a great story, it has lousy special effects (it’s the sixties… come on, don’t expect so much!), it even has a great justified ending. Thumbs up!

Movie star Bunny Blake receives a ring from her hometown which is giving her warnings to come home while she flies cross country. Ring-a-Ding Girl reminds me a lot about Donnie Darko. Don’t ask me why, I can’t put my finger on what. Something about manifestations of dead people, or something.

Anyways. I thought the whole episode was quite dull until the very very end, where shit started to get interesting. That saved the whole thing, making it a real mindfuck of a Twilight Zone episode. Thumbs up!

An old man that thinks he will die when his old granddad clock stops ticking. His daughter and her husband think he’s nuts. Let me tell you: He is nuts. But it all gets sorted out in the end, in a pretty…. meek way.

But anyways, I kinda like the idea but the execution was fucking horrible. You can skip this. Ninety Years Without Slumbering is not something I would (literally) want to be part of.

An old man is married to a young slut. She’s a mean young bitch. The pussyass motherfucker he is, he just lay himself flat before her smoldering. So he asks his brother to inect a youth serum in him. Then he does a Benjamin Button and the young, mean, lady is stuck with an a bit too young husband…

A Short Drink From a Certain Fountain is in that way great, just because you get to see her get more than she bargained for. But it’s not so special, really. It’s average good.

In The 7th Is Made Up of Phantoms, three 1960’s Army National Guard soldiers on maneuvers near the Little Big Horn battle site find themselves unwittingly involved in Custer’s last stand. It’s a neat idea to mix up the occasion of the past with people from the present, but not making it all obvious about what’s happening and who notices what and believes what.

A great Twilight Zone episode, really in the spirit of Rod Serling. (Could be because he wrote it). Me like.

Space Travel theme again. In Probe 7, Over and Out we get to meet Colonel Cook who is stranded on another planet with no hope for rescue and meets a woman who is the sole survivor from another planet. In fact, they just reinvented a trick used in one of the first episodes of The Twilight Zone (don’t remember the name now). But even so, they made a good point and managed to keep it interesting.

Like Adam and Eve…

Uncle Simon is a just but somewhat grumpy old man. Caregiver Barbara Polk takes care of her uncle, but she kinda hates him. Therefore she makes him suffer an ‘accident’. Uncle Simon is smart though. He has made a robot. A robot which will more and more be like Simon himself. And in his will he has stated that the fucking bitch must take care of the robot – or she will lose all the stuff she hopes to inherit. Tough shit for that greedy little cunt, but she had it coming and it all just serves her right.

Anyways. I liked the idea behind everything here. Although not exciting per se, it still was enjoyable cause you got to see that evil little female suffer.

The Old Man in the Cave. Yeah, who is this sucker really? In a post-apocalyptic settlement (in the future. The future equals 1974. It always seem to equal 1974 in the Twilight Zone, for some reason), the inhabitants’ survival is dependent on the advice of an unseen man living in a nearby cave. This dependence is tested when a band of soldiers (bunch of fucking idiots) descends on their town.

I like post apocalysm settings. And this one had a really interesting revelation near the end. That made it good.

Living Doll is Chucky in Twilight Zone. A frustrated father does battle with his stepdaughter’s talking doll, whose vocabulary includes such phrases as “I hate you” and “I’m going to kill you”. But as usual the stepdaughter and the mother does not believe him and soon start to almost hate him when he tries to take the doll from the daughter.

Really creepy and uncanny episode, maybe one of the best actually. It doesn’t get any more terrorlike in The Twilight Zone than this. Bullseye! 10 of 10! Kickass! Epic! I don’t have any more adjectives to describe this. Just go see this. It fucking rocks!

A washed-up jockey gets his wish while waiting for the results of his race fixing hearing. The only really interesting thing in The Last Night of a Jockey is the fact that the cast is only 1 person. Yep, that’s right. Exactly one performer appearing – either in image or voice. This episode held the smallest cast of any Twilight Zone episode (although Where Is Everybody, King Nine Will Not Return, Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room, The Invaders and Two are close runner-ups.

The thing they did with the props and everything were quite cool too.

A dude who talks too much and annoys too many people  is given a stopwatch that stops time. Unfortunately he’s not very bright so he goes to do the thing that anybody would do – but messes up totally. Leaving him in a state of something you’d almost call oblivion, you feel a little bit sorry for him.

Decent episode, but nothing special. The ending saved the whole thing.

One of the first Twilight Zone episodes I ever saw was a remake of this one. It starred John Lithgow if I remember correctly. In this original episode it is none the less than William Shatner. Oh, the story. Nightmare at 20,000 Feet is being portrayed in an airplane (no shit). A man, newly recovered from a nervous breakdown, becomes convinced that a monster only he sees is damaging the plane he’s flying in. That makes for a kinda creepy situation where he feels he need to save the airplane before the gremlin destroys the whole thing, making them crash.

But is the gremlin real? At least he looks fucking hideous, just see the picture below. I liked this episode very much. It was cool.

The town is coming to life…

Great Military Blunders. A british documentary. We have since the beginning of war always celebrated military courage and smartness. But on the other side there is the military incompetence. One aspect of human behvaiour that can be prevented and is (tragically) expensive – but also very captivating.

The plot is taking place from the crusades to the days of Vietnam and we are shown a lot of examples of stupidity, ignorance, brutality and pure incompetence. Lack of communication, technical errors and a misplaced feeling of superiority led to the death of thousands of solders, who were left behind by their arrogant rulers or commanders.

We get to follow the foolishness and cruelty of man during a bunch of chocking tantrums during almost one thousand years of conflict. The documentary is a combination of history, human interest and archive movies which are spiced with exciting stories. Most of them told by history nerds, but some by some war veterans.

Really cool to see these idiots of war, these stupid retards who thought their honor meant more than winning the war or saving their soldiers. Fucking idiots.

Steel. In the near future (well… 1974. Not much of a future with your current eyes, but you get the picture) boxing has been outlawed and is performed by mechanical robots.

Enter two guys with an ugly ass android robot (see picture). It’s broken. It’s shitty. It won’t stand a chance. So one of the dudes decides to enter the ring in the place of the robot. Great idea, he thought. Bad idea dipshit, I thought.

He got his ass kicked and that was that. End of story. Unexpected ending, abruptly finishing your watching experience. Was it good? No. I read somewhere that this was Richard Matheson’s favourite episode. If that’s true, then he’s got shitty taste. (Yes he wrote it, but that doesn’t mean he liked it).

Welcome to the fifth episode in the fifth dimension (harr harr). Now the episode format has gone back to 25 minutes (did I hear a hallelujah?) It’s a way better format. One hour was way too long.

Anyways. In Praise of Pip is just a story about morality and being a good dad. It’s nothing else. A dude gets shot in Vietnam, his father who is some kind of asshole on the outside but actually a good person inside has negelcted the son for a long time. When he hears his son got shot he decides to act up. Then he hallucinates or enters the twilight zone or something, cause suddenly he sees his son – but his son is just 10 years old again.

Well, you have some really kickass good acting in this episode. In Praise of Pip was great, although not scary or anything like that.

The last episode in the fourth season.

Julius Moomer, a talentless self-promoting hack who dreams of becoming a successful television writer, uses a book of magic to summon William Shakespeare to write dramatic teleplays that Moomer will pass off as his own. Shakespeare becomes irritated by Moomer’s lack of appreciation and is even more appalled when he discovers the changes wrought on his plays by cynical television executives.

It’s stupid, Moomer is fucking annoying, and you just wish you could beat the shit out of that little egoistic fucker. The only good thing is that you get to see Shakespeare open a can of whupass on one of the mouthy actors who think he’s the shit. He was kinda right. He fell to the floor like a shit hits the brick.

Now we’re talking. Passage on the Lady Anne is what Twilight Zone is all about. Some mysterious shit which leaves you hanging and then something goes terrible wrong, you get that icky feeling in your stomach. You know something’s not right, something’s not fitting into the puzzle. You know you’re in for something big.

Then it hits you. But it doesn’t hit you until the very very end. That is exactly what happened in Passage on the Lady Anne. A young American couple, the Ransomes, who are trying to salvage their troubled marriage, insist on booking passage on an old trans-Atlantic cruise liner. But other passengers try to persuade them to disembark immediately.

You wonder why. You wonder why until the end. And even in the end you won’t get the full story. It’s fucking brilliant. One of the best twilight zone episodes ever. Trust me.

William Feathersmith is an asshole. He is an aging tycoon. He is bored with his life and makes arrangements through a devilish travel agency (see picture. Kinda hot she-devil!) to return to Cliffordville of his youth and start all over again. Things doesn’t work out so well for him though, Which is just Justice being served.

Of Late I Think of Cliffordville is not giving you any surprises. It’s predictable. Even so it’s a joy to see that motherfucker Feathersmith get what he deserves in the end. Oh yeah!

The Incredible World of Horace Ford is not so incredible as you may think. Horace is a bit … let’s say… mentally challenged. He works as a toy designer at a company. Horace longs for his childhood which was not as idyllic as he remembers it, as you get to learn in the end. The mysterious part of this episode is where he goes back to the street where he grew up, and stumbles upon the same kids that he played with when he was young. His continuous revisits to that place keeps giving him a deja vu every time.

The problem with the episode is that Horace is so unbelievable fucking annoying. He acts like a 5 year old bastard, he does irrational things and he’s just a pain in the ass for everyone. The worst fucking character on screen ever (almost. I know some who are worse). If you have the patience enough to endure his absolutely crazy behaviour then I congratulate you.

Not worth watching.

On Thursday We Leave for Home starts out with us staring at two suns. For thirty years, a colony has barely survived on a sparse planet baked by these two suns only because of their megalomaniac leader William Benteen, who treats them like children. A conflict arises when a rescue ship arrives and offers them a new life back on Earth, threatening to end Benteen’s leadership.

Benteen is a delusioned old fart face and acts like a spoiled little piece of shit. In the end he is left on the planet while the others go home. Serves him right, that douchebag.

Good episode if you’re interested in social psychology and leadership theories, but for the twilight zoneliness of this one – naaah, not so much, eh?

This is a spinoff from Get Smart. A movie I haven’t seen. Apparently according to reliable sources this takes place during the first half of the original Get Smart movie.

The plot revolves around something that you cannot see. Let me explain. CIA and CONTROL (some scientist agency thingie) are both concerned with the national security. Therefore, they have sometimes friendly and other times not as friendly rivalry going.

Meet Bruce and Lloyd. Working in the gadget laboratory for CONTROL, they invent an Optical Camouflage Technology (OCT). Also known as ugly-ass invicible cloak (my note). This is much to the chagrin of the jealous motherfuckers at the CIA. Especially the two immoral idiots Bob and Howard.

Matters are not getting better by the existence of a personal rivalry between these two couples – and their respective bosses who in turn are twin brothers and always trying to outshine each other.

So then it’s time for some action. The Cloak thingie goes missing. Of course they think that the sneaky bastards from the CIA did it, and thus goes on an adventure to get that cloak back. But there are no field agents available. Therefore the two labrats Bruce and Lloyd have to go out on a mission. Just think about it. A fat white dude and a small asian dude going out to kick some ass.

Then there’s this dictator president in Maraguay (…) and two girls involved (as always), and the arch enemy of CONTROL; KAOS (haha, get it?). Oh yeah. About the girls. One of them is this hot babe, Isabella. At least her body is hot; her face looks good at first sight, but the more you stare at it, the less beautiful it is. I noticed that in the final scenes of the movie. So it would probably be better if you stare at her ass or her tits when she’s on screen. That’s what I did and it worked out perfectly well.

Get Smart’s Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control is your standard comedy with special agents in the central scene. It’s bitwise funny but overall it’s mostly faint. It’s too obvious how the plot evolves, which leaves no room for surprises and therefore you almost know the (practical) jokes before they happen.

That makes it a bit dull. But either way, it’s a good easy-to-watch comedy for those hangover sundays. It’s charming. But it ain’t worth setting any expectations if you’re about to watch it. Like… I think it would score somewhere around 4 out of 10.

Bruce and Lloyd. Or Lloyd and Bruce. I can never remember.

Sneaking up on people having sex is kinda cool. But I feel sorry for Masi Oka; he won’t see jack shit from where he’s standing.