I thought this movie was going to suck. You might ask yourself then “why the hell is he watching the movie if he thinks it is going to suck?” Well, I asked myself the same question. Seems kind of retarded.

I’m glad I did see this one though. With so low expectations as I had before seeing Alien Agent, I must say I was positively surprised. Starring some rather well-known actors (Billy Zane, Kim Coates and Mark Dacascos) we get something like Showdown At Area 51 – Except that this shit is leagues better. You know the story. Aliens coming to our planet fighting their war (this time one alien is trying to stop his brethren from extermination planet earth. Of course Billy Zane is one of those bad guys).

First of all, there are these two hot chicks in the main roles. Just the thing that they’re quite hot is good enough for me. What more, the fighting is excellent. They make great use of various camera technologies and Mark Dacascos is (in real life) a good fighter. That is really visible in the movie. Third, the shoot-outs, the explosions and every other banging thing are well done. Some nudity (although mostly teasing and not showing much of the real stuff at all…), decent acting (not all-out good but not terrible either. You’ve seen words in these kind of movies, I promise you).

Alien Agent isn’t such a bad movie after all. If you’re going for an unintelligent Sci-Fi action movie then this could easily be your weapon of choice. Give it a shot, you may actually like it.

Titty-tease! Unfortunately that’s like all you get to see. Same thing with other nude scenes.

Also known as The Final Curtain. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. I guess that is also applicable on movies. Because you should certainly not judge this movie by its cover. The cover is great, looks really promising like you’d get something in a decent SAW-manner.

You’re not. This is a indie movie which means the budget is low and the acting is kind of crappy. But hey, if you know that is what you will get, then there’s no problem. I didn’t know that. So I must say I was a bit disappointed.

Leaving that fact aside though, there’s plenty of fun to get here. Yes, people are killed in various ways; sometimes real dorky and corny and other times in a more intruiging way.

The story goes like this. Some kids studying the theatrical arts at a university has their sort of “initiation ritual” with the newcomers (new girls). They take them to their sort of secret basement area or whatever where they drug them and surprises them with sex. Or something like that.

Well, of course something goes wrong this time and the girl dies. They try to cover up the murder, but then one after one of them falls victim of a murder spree decimating their numbers rapidly. Now they must do their best to escape before they are all killed.

For being an indie movie I’m quite impressed by the gore and special effects. As for the acting it couldn’t get much worse; so if you just get your mind of that flaw then it should be no problem. The music are great too. They’ve left the symphonic orchestra at home and instead has gone for a more industrial / ambient sounding atmosphere. This reminds me a bit of Silent Hill, which is as much of a compliment any movie maker possibly can get.

If you’re comfortable with the fact that this is an indie movie (implying the implementation isn’t water proof) then you should take the opportunity to catch this one. But, if your standards are set a bit higher (like mine) I’d suggest you to go for something more spectacular.

Birthday party + Moving In Party ==> Hair Massacre. 4 new baldies at work on monday, this is going to be interesting =). Had a blast though; really nice party with great people. Don’t know if the others went out afterwards, but I catched the last train back to Norrköping (which went around 01.30 or something). Pretty hung over today, but not that bad. I’ve even managed to go the gym!

Anyways, I’ll let the pictures of bald dudes, disgusting boozed water-melons and other stuff speak for themselves:

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Team Badass Baldness Of Epicness!

… took place 19th of september, 2009. Had a really great time as long as we were at her place. When we went out to Bomullsfabriken afterwards the level of awesomeness suddenly decreased. It could have to do with the fact that I almost lost everybody immediately, or that I may have been a bit too intoxicated. Regardless of which, the evening as a whole was great and I’m thankful to Carina for hosting the party.

I hope you’re starting to feel like you’re home now, baby.

For pictures, check these links out:

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Really tasty raspberry muffins. Check out the recipe here (in swedish) and have a look at the pictures here:

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Note that you should perhaps make a bit more of the filling than what is mentioned in the recipe. It runs out quite fast when you’re filling your muffin forms with it….

As you may already know my external drive decided to die the other day. Or at least fall into some kind of coma. So I decided I would try to do an autopsy and install the drive as an internal SATA drive in my computer instead.

Fail.

No data were I able to recover. Here are the pictures from the slaughter though:

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2009-09-05, a day of drinking with good friends (and girlfriend) and eating a bit too much tacos. Very nice! See the pictures here:

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Low-budget horror movie which surprisingly enough starrs Lance Henriksen and Jeffrey Combs in two minor roles.

Mr. Anonymous at IMDB sums up the story good:

It has been sighted 42,000 times in 68 countries. A creature of myth and legend known by several names; Yeti, Sasquatch and the infamous Bigfoot! We’ve hunted it for years, but what happens when it decides to hunt us? “Abominable” centers on a man recovering from a mountain climbing accident, trapped in a remote cabin in the woods, who sees the legendary beast, and must convince someone to believe him, before the monster goes on a bloody rampage.

There are some obvious mistakes in the movie. Like driving a car backwards when the engine isn’t even on. But I can take that. The thing I can’t take is that this Bigfoot creature just looks god damn retarded, and it is a bit too obvious that it is a human playing its part. It is waay too human-like to really be creepy. And the fact that there’s like a distance of 30 kilometers between his two eyes just makes me laugh – it does not frighten me.

Hey, do you see this shit I got up my nose? That’s cocaine running through these tubes. At least I wish it was.

I must however give some kudoz to the special effects team. Some scenes are really gory and nice. Like when one of the neighbour girl gets smashed in half while being dragged out through a small toilet window. That’s some kickass shit. The sound guy however should get fired ASAP if he hasn’t already been fired. There’s way too much dramatic music. There’s music for fucking everything. And sound effects. Like when our Preston the protagonist takes a knife from a wooden stand it sounds like he’s unsheathing it from something metallic. When he just starts his god damn computer there’s thrilling music. When he’s grabbing the god damn binoculars there’s music. What I’m trying to say is that there’s too much music. Period.

Despite Abominable’s minor flaws I actually enjoyed watching it. I do have a hard time when the victims are straight out stupid and are winning another edition of the Darwin awards, but hey – that’s the case in like all of these B-class horror movies.

Taste the wrath of my Boomstick, bitch! Lance Henriksen going fucking mental on the Bigfoot motherfucker.

Just lay back for a while and enjoy some oldschool style horror in the woods. Not the best shit out there, but not the worst either. You may find it entertaining. But not scary.

NOM NOM NOM – Part 1.

NOM NOM NOM – Part 2 – he’s done. By the way, click the picture link or here. It’s an animated GIF but it won’t animate using the standard Flickr shit.

Bigfoot strooooong! Bigfoot lift caaaarrrrr! Bigfoot not so clever though; getting fucked up later on in the movie.

Dessert, anyone?

Got the animation shit working. Check it out, it’s really kickass (yeah it’s a spoiler but you know that it’s going to happen anyways):

With the original title Sutorîto faitâ IV – Aratanaru kizuna (2009) you couldn’t expect anything else than shit. First off I didn’t even realize I didn’t have to watch it with english spoken language – I had the opportunity to switch to Japanese spoken language. That, I am glad for. If I didn’t I would’ve turned off that shit in an instant.

Basically, what we got here is just a crappy movie that Capcom felt it would be worth throwing out to the audience when they are about to release the game Steet Fighter IV. Even the fucking movie poster lies. All characters listed on the picture isn’t even in the movie!

Don’t misunderstand me here. Street Fighter is my favourite fighting game, especially Street Fighter II. I played a shitload of tournaments when I was young and all characters combos are programmed right into my spine. I still feel some kind of affection towards Guile, Ryu and M. Bison (the Bison in the American version; the dude with the cape and hat and shit you know) – my favourite characters in the whole game. Except Akuma, but he’s special.

So, to get a movie where they most bullshit around and don’t have much fighting at all is just a shame to a movie having the words “Street Fighter” in its title. Or just ‘Fighter’ for that sake too. You get some kinde of introduction to some of the new fighter in the fourth installment of the game series, but that’s about it. Luckily the length of the movie doesn’t exceed 65 minutes. If I were you, I’d skip this movie and go see the Street Fighter II: Victory series instead. Waaaaay better in all kind of ways!

I loved the Simpsons. I still do. And I love Family Guy even more. Those TV series are huge. But then they all suffered from the same disease; their creators created new TV series which weren’t as near as funny as the original ones. In the case of Family Guy we got American Dad. Decent, but not good. In the case of The Simpsons, we got Futurama. Not good at all.

Futurama isn’t funny. Anytime. Anywhere. I get the jokes but I don’t laugh. I get the morbid comedy but I still don’t laugh. I get the cross references to our society. Still no laughter. The only thing that raises Futurama to one level above total suckyness is our main man the robot Bender. He’s the real definition of a fucking badass robot motherfucker. But other than that we got jack shit here in terms of comedy.

Thus, it wasn’t easy for me watching this movie. Indeed, it did suck. Futurama: The Beast With a Biillion Backs circles around our main characters trying to fix a rip in the universe. It seems like there’s another planet or something with tentacles (!) that tries to reach through this rip in the universe and seduce all mankind. At the same time the robots on planet earth are led by Bender to fight a bloody revolution against mankind.

Or something like that. I couldn’t give less shit about the story since something that was supposed to be funny wasn’t funny. I’m not dissapointed. I had no expectations at all which makes it hard to be dissapointed. It did however suck.

White Noise 2 is not really a sequel to the first movie. The only thing these two movies has in common is the white noise. While the first movie was straight out creepy, this one is not as terrifying it could have been. White Noise 1 was creepy since you didn’t know the rationale behind the white noise. You didn’t know if it was good or evil, you didn’t know jack shit. Therefore it was terrifying.

In this movie, it gets spoiled almost immediately. While the noise is something other than in the first one, the fact that it is written in our faces at the (almost) very beginning is disappointing. It would have been much better and had a much better effect if it was kept ambiguous until the very end.

However, besides that I can’t really complain. Nathan Fillion makes a good effort as the main character Abe Dale, and the ghostly creatures are depicted in a quite scary manner. A bit too much “Hollywood-style frights” (you know, those silent moments where the movie suddenly goes BOOM on your ass, making you shit your pants. Not because it is especially scary, but because the difference in sound level is superhuman. I don’t really like that).

Even so, Carina enjoyed the movie (to my big surprise!), and I felt afterwards that it wasn’t a complete waste of time. The religious references, the special effects and all that shit were in fact well done.

Oh yeah, the story? Our main dude Abe having a near death experience and then getting some type of power where he can actually see if someone is about to die. Of course he intervenes, but there may be consequences for changing the destiny of peoples lives… (ooooh, you can really hear how scary it is….).

So, White Noise 2: The Light will make you jump out of the sofa a couple of times; but it won’t leave you with nightmares.

Lineup:

• Josh & Wesz (NL)

• Low-E aka Glowiej (NL)

• Fred Acler (SE)

The party was nice, missed a lot of my friends though. Mostly nu-style (just look at the lineup and you realize it), but even so I had a blast. They finished off with some hardcore (much appreciated, even though it was cheesy mainstream hardcore. But cheesy hardcore is better than no hardcore at all).

I want to thank my friends and especially Daniel Klaff for hosting the party. Keep it up you old man! Hopefully we’ll get to see some real hardcore at Sweapsound in a near future.

Anyways, movies are coming up later on, but as of now you can catch my pictures on either Facebook or Flickr.

Former US Navy Seal soldiers going gangster by smuggling narcotics from Mexico cross the border to the United States. What they didn’t take into account is that Jean-Claude Van Damme is here to kick their asses. Literally.

The Shepherd: Border Patrol is perhaps one of the better movies starring JCVD. That statement doesn’t bear witness to much though, since there has like only been crappy movies he has starred in. This time around though you get some quality in the fight scenes; great use of slowmotion effects in combination with a bit blood. That does not totally make up for the pain you experience watching such crappy acting and stupid badguys though (why the hell does the main badguy drop the gun in the end and instead go at JCVD with a knife? How fucking retarded isn’t that? Jesus).

And what the hell was the deal with that fucking rabbit? If it was supposed to give some kind of deep to the character, then they failed. I’m sorry but  the whole thing doesn’t feel ‘real’. So don’t expect any intruiging story or anything of that kind. But really, who the hell need that shit when you get to see a lot of ass-whuppin’ ? I don’t care what rationale the main character has for kicking butt – he’s still beating the shit out of people and it looks like a piece of awesomeness. I’m satisfied. You should be too.

This is your perfect hangover movie.

Just watched a documentary about the SAS team who got abandoned by their commanders during a mission in the middle east. I’ve read the book by Andy McNab several years ago, so this was quite nice to watch with that book as background.

Can’t say that I got much more clever after watching it; the documentary was pretty one-sided, where basically word stood against word. Anyways, if you’re into this kind of shit you may find it interesting. Not that it reveals anything groundbreaking, but either way maybe worth to catch a glimpse of it.

You all know Bruce Campbell. That kickass actor from the Evil Dead series, and a lot of other really entertaining B-horror movies. Well, this time around Bruce Campbell acts as himself. Having a career on the low, Campbell gets kidnapped by some hillbillies in a town with too few inhabitants, where they’ve managed to piss off some old chinese god of war (or sumthin’). So, as any sane person would do they bring Campbell to the rescue. Unfortunately, Bruce doesn’t realize he’s into some deep shit – he think everything’s just a joke.

As you may guess you have your fair share of one-liners (too often re-used though, making them all just homages to his old movies. Yeah, that’s a bad thing this time. You’ve already heard them, and serving them like this takes away some of their coolness).

Decent gore, mostly funny and not frightening at all (My Name Is Bruce doesn’t even state it should be scary – so go fuck yourself if you’re critisizing the movie just because of that). If you take it for what it is I think you’ll enjoy this one. Don’t get your expectations up too high. It is meant to be a bit corny. It is meant to be low-budget with half-assed acting. That’s part of the charm. But still, it isn’t as good as it could have been.

I love Bruce Campbell. He’s one of my favourite actors of all time. But even if that’s a fact, I can’t really say I liked this one. It’s not bad, but it’s not as good as his previous movies. Making parody of himself works well for a while, but it gets a bit tiresome in the long run.

Why not make an Evil Dead sequel instead?

Wait ’til the demon will get a piece of the boomstick.

Pure fucking genious. Think of this as a rock musical with comedy. You all know Jack Black (JB) and his soulmate Kyle Gass (KG). They kick ass. So, this time, in Venice Beach, naive Midwesterner JB bonds with local slacker KG and they form the rock band Tenacious D. Setting out to become the world’s greatest band is no easy feat, so they set out to steal what could be the answer to their prayers – a magical guitar pick housed in a rock-and-roll museum some 300 miles away.

What you get is a lot of singing with meaningless (but damn funny!) lyrics, a quite nerdy Rock’n'Roll story with a glimpse in the eye.

I’ve always liked the music from Tenacious D, just because the lyrics are so funny. This movie gives me a lot of that shit, together with an enjoyable watching experience. I think The Pick Of Destiny is a movie that mostly anybody can enjoy. Except my girlfriend, who spat some of her hate on all the singing. Despite that whine, I enjoyed the whole work of art. Go see this one if you haven’t already done that.

No. No, no, no, no, no. This was not funny. Not funny at all. Basically we have Billy Bob Thornton being this badass gym teacher Mr. Woodcock, teaching the kids to have some backbone (but are being portrayed as a real jerk). Then we have Sean William Scott being a pussy as a kid (character name John Farley), and of course lectured by this Mr. Woodcock.

Fast forward a bit into the future. John has grown up, written a book with great success, then heads back home to be celebrated for his success in his hometown. Of course he finds his old nemesis Woodcock being engaged to his mom (Susan Sarandon). He tries everything to break of their engagement just because he thinks Woodcock is an evil motherfucker (literally. Pun intended).

The movie has its up and downs. Some practical jokes are a bit funny, making you smile. But you don’t get those laughs like an insane motherfucker, making the people around you wonder if they should call the mental asylum or not.

The movie lacks one thing: Funnyness. This is quite serious if you’re going all out being a comedy movie. Mr. Woodcock has a real anti-climax as an ending, and it just sucked. I didn’t like it, neither did Carina. No need to say anything else.

Skip this piece of shit.

The Eyes Of The Dragon (Swedish title: Drakens Ögon) is, as you may have guessed from the title, Stephen King going medieval fantasy on our asses. I can’t say that I find that move anywhere near good. It may be the case that this book actually is good, considering it is fantasy. But then again it is fantasy, making it lousy by natural deduction. I’ve never read one single fantasy book that I liked. This is no exception.

The story is about a boy about to be king in the country of Delain, but then we have this evil Sorcerer called Flagg (yes, you King manias out there may recognize the name from a lot of other novels) that frames the boy for murdering his dad, making his brother king instead – with some evil plans in mind. Then we have this boy trying to escape and claim his rights as the rightful king of Delain.

The only good thing about this book is the cross-reference to lots of other King characters and places. If you read The Dark Tower, you will probably recognize a lot of names and places and references.

King should’ve sticked to the thing he does best: horror. I forgive him for this side-step into the abyss of catastrophy. Just remind me next time I get the idea I should read a fantasy book: The genre fucking sucks!

Test for facebook publishing.

The videos are online! The playlist:

Or videos one by one:

Also known as The Warlords. This is a chinese movie starring Jet Li. It circles around three blood brothers (Jet Li one of them) and their struggle in the midst of war. Apparently based on “The Assassination of Ma” which took place during the Qing dynasty (1644-1911) in China and was about the killing of badass general Ma Xinyi.

The movie fucking sucked. Well, maybe not all bad but almost. First of all, chinese spoken language isn’t nearly as badass as for example japanese. Second of all, it was hard keeping up with all the struggles between the bandits, the various generals, and of coure there were a bit too many slow-paced scenes.

Of course you have your giant battles with like… millions of blood-thirsty soldiers fighting for their lives. And yes, Jet Li opens a can of whuppass on most of them; but he’s not that invincible ultra-hardcore motherfucking badass as you’re used to see him. It may be because the movie was supposed to be based on an actual historical event, but what do I know…

For a movie being a bit over 2 god damn hours there were way to little blood. It’s not one of Jet Li’s better performances, so you can safely skip this one without having any bad Oh-my-god-I-missed-a-Jet-Li-movie-conscience.

Or, I may have a better idea in store for you. Borrow this one on DVD. Watch the epic battles (they are astonishing, although you have the same why-the-hell-do-I-use-129879000-cameras-and-cut-shit-together-syndrome making you perceive almost jack shit) and then fast-forward through the boring parts. That should do it. Then you have yourself a mutilating Jet Li (and two other chinese dudes) going fucking berserk on like million of other chinese dudes.

(If you liked this you should probably catch the first screen adaptation of the story too.)

This is Ayn Rand’s Magnum Opus. Atlas Shrugged (Swedish title: Och Världen Skälvde). This is a 1217 pages long masterpiece (at least the swedish version is 1217 pages long). Everybody should read this book. They should hand it out in schools to our kids making them read it. As I raised Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead to the skies – I’ll raise this one to the fucking universe!

The world is collapsing due to people with power trying that awful thing called collectivism. In the middle of everything our main protagonist Dagny Taggart fights to save her railway company. But her fight is for more than her railway. She refuses to accept stagnation and hopelesness as the faith of her own and humanity; so she decides to confront the mysterious expression that has come to conclude everybody’s fear;

Who is John Galt?

The answer turns out to be essential for her own future as well as the future of the world.

The book is a philosophical thriller; it challenges, fascinates and most of all it inspires you. Regardless of your political view you should grab a copy of Atlas Shrugged and read it through. Everything is explained here and illustrated by the characters in the book. Objectivism, how collectivism does not work, how and why the pursuit for one owns happyness is the only morally right thing to live for, how self-sacrifice never will lead to anything productive (in fact: how it will lead to stagnation and poverty), why being rich is a virtue and not a sin, and much else.

Atlas Shrugged is definitely one of the best books I’ve ever read (if not the best one). It is at least the most important book I’ve read in my whole life. You shouldn’t live your life without reading this. If there’s something important you have to do before you fall down dead is to digest the words of Ayn Rand.

I salute her and I thank her for giving the world her ideas and distributing them through this masterpiece. Read the story about a man that said he would shut down the engine of the world – and did it.

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Inglorious Basterds. What we have here is basically a gang of jewish-american soldiers getting their well deserved revenge on those fucking nazi scums, led by sergeant motherfucking kickass Aldo Raine (Brad Bitt). Yep, that is totally correcto. Then you have Hitler shitting his pants because his boys are getting fucked up by a bunch of american nazi-slayers. Badass.

As always when it comes to Tarantinos movies you know you will love it. I don’t think I have seen a single movie made by that guy that I haven’t loved. He’s just simply the best fucking director out there. My hopes were sky-high for this movie, and I got what I wanted.

Know that Inglorious Basterds is not a feast in blood, even though it seems like that from all the posters and commercials. You don’t get your regular gore á la Tarantino, e.g. like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs. But that doesn’t make it bad. It makes the movie more interesting. Know that you have a shitload of dialogue where it seems like nothing is happening. Usually that would bore me out and make me fall asleep in the movie theater. It didn’t. I don’t know how the hell he’s doing it, but he transformed something usually awfully boring into something so intense you couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the dialogue.

The characters were just awesome kickass; You have Aldo Raine which is this definition of badass. He invented badass. And Brad Pitt is actually a great actor. If you weren’t convinced by his tribute in Snatch, then first of all you’re fucking stupid and retarded; but secondly you will be convinced by his part in this movie.

Then you have this other soldier who beats the living shit out of the german soldiers with a bat (!). Yep, you read ‘bat’. If that isn’t the definition of a mean motherfucker, then what is? Adolf Hitler surely shows his fugly moustache-decorated face together with Goebbels and his other retarded henchmen.

That is correcto. Everybody owes Aldo the Apache 100 nazi scalps. And he wants his nazi scalps.

Big kudoz to Tarantino for bringing actors who actually can speak the other languages that are portrayed in the movie. You have german actors playing most of the nazi dudes, giving it a bit more authentic feeling. I’m very impressed by the way they seemlessy change from one language to another. The french speak french, the german speak german, the english speak english, and the proposed italian guys speak… well… some kind of italian (‘Bonjorno’ and ‘correcto’ – two quotes you will remember after seeing this film). Christoph Waltz (playing the role as Hans Landa) is most impressive speaking a total of 4 languages in the movie, and I can’t tell that he’s at fault when speaking any of those. Wonderful. I love how Tarantino did not resort to letting the actors speaking english with a german accent (which ruined Valkyrie…)

“Hey, look at me! I’m a fucking retarded nazi soldier with a god damn card on my forehead. Why the hell is there a card on my forehead? I don’t know but I’ll scream like a total retard anyway, ’cause I wanna sleep with the bitch on my right side before you other nazi scums get yer dirty hands on her.”

Inglorious Basterds has everything. Comedy, excitement, action, drama, excellent story, perfect acting, and a whole deal of fantastic dialogue (which has always been one of Tarantino’s trademarks).

Many of you have asked me if I thought this one was better than District-9. I won’t make that comparison, since it is unfair. It is two completely different type of movies, and there’s no way in hell I could justify why I think one of them is better than the other. No way. So piss off.

Inglorious Basterds is something you can’t afford to miss. Now I will spend some time watching the movie where this movie got its title from – Quel maledetto treno blindato (The Inglorious Bastards) (1978).

This is a masterpiece from Tarantino. Again.