There isn’t much I can tell you about the story without spoiling the whole fun. Some people (young people, of course – not teenagers this time though) goes out to a cabin by a lake. They tell spooky stories around the camp fire. Things start to happen and then they must run for their lives.

That’s about what I can tell you without spoiling it all. If the movie would’ve totally sucked, I would have spoiled everything here for you – thus sparing you the agony of having to watch crap. But it isn’t that bad.

Yes, it is almost the same as all these stupid-kids-in-the-forest-horror-movies, but adds an extra touch of plot-twists which you probably have seen before in other movies. Nothing really original and it’s not something to jump high for, but it serves its purpose and makes the movie a bit more interesting than it otherwise would have been.

Neither the chicks, the gore nor the special effects are of extraordinary nature, but as I wrote regarding the plot twists – it serves its purpose.

Sam’s Lake is a decent horror movie but really nothing special. Not bad, not good, not going to be remembered in the history of moviemaking (or my mind either).

Yesterday I went with Carina to one of her friends (Therese) to attend a crayfish party. It was a great success. I had a blast and I got pretty messed up – in two different ways. First of all I get rather drunk (not shitfaced, but drunk enough to be dancing to R’n'B when we went to the club Bomullsfabriken later on that night). Secondly, I fell off a chair (NOT due to the fact that I was drunk; the chair was wobbly. I promise!) and opened up a wound in the area between my right ear and my head.

But other than that it was great. Lots of crayfish and other food, very nice people whereof I’ve only met a couple of them before, obviously a lot of singing and noisemaking, and a delightful finish at Bomullsfabriken. It was my first time at Bomullsfabriken (!), and I must say it was decent. But that is probably more due to the company than the place itself. The DJs couldn’t mix for shit. I don’t think they have ever seen the word ‘beatmatching’. The mixes couldn’t be less tight. And that goes for both DJs on both floors.

Anyways, I want to thank Therese for letting me come to the party, and everyone else who made the party a great success. Special thanks goes out to Carina who didn’t get too embarrassed when I acted like a complete fucktard at the party .

Pictures? Here you go!

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One word is enough to describe this movie: CRAP. Just read the tagline, and know that JCVD is doing the main role:

They put him in a coma, now he’s going to put them out of their misery.

Riiight… Well, what you got is this: A badass cop (van Damme) is put in a coma since he is shot in the head. He was bad to many people around him. When he wakes up from his coma he decides to make things right again and avenge his near-killer.

Bad acting, cheesy action scenes and an uninteresting plot in combination with characters you don’t sympathize for or even care the least about makes a shitty movie. I’m sorry Jean-Claude, but Until Death is no good at all. You don’t even get to see much of his fighting skills or his mandatory split-scene that is part of like each and every one of his old movies (!)

Don’t waste your time watching this piece of shit. It’s not even god for being a brain-dead action flick.

‘Weird Al’ Yankovic. I thought he only did parody of music. I was wrong. He has also starred in this satirical movie called UHF. One thing is for sure; Al can’t act for shit. Luckily you have Michael Richards (more known as Kramer for you retards who actually think that Seinfield is a good TV-series) playing a leading role in the movie. He saves the film from hitting rock bottom. You also have Fran Drescher, you knnow that chick who plays “The Nanny” in that old TV-series with the same name.

The plot (from IMDB): George Newman (Yankovic) is a normal man. Problem is, he’s also a daydreamer, who can’t keep hold of a steady job. His uncle decides George will be the perfect man to manage Channel 62, a station which is losing money and viewers fast. George’s imagination is put to good use and he starts thinking up bizarre shows such as “Wheels of Fish” and “Raul’s Wild Kingdom”. The ratings start to soar again, but not everyone is happy.

I know that parodies should not be taken seriously, but this is just a mess of crappyness that I don’t find as amusing as I had hoped it would be. Yeah, you have those scenes where you actually smile a little since you recognize yourself in the movies they’re making fun of. But that’s not enough for me. It doesn’t make me laugh like a monkeybitten rhino. I think this would work as a stoner movie though. Unless you’ve filled your lungs with pot or are shitfaced as ever before, then this just won’t cut it. I’m sorry to say that since I like Yankovic. He should’ve stayed with what he does best though; music.

Today I’ve spent the whole day at Kolmården with my beloved girlfriend Carina. The weather was nice (cloudy but still warm – perhaps a bit too warm sometimes). Lots of interesting animals at the zoo, and close encounters with a big bear and a couple of other animals at the Safari park.

Of course we went to see the dolphin show (which was great, except it was too short and they could have cut out that Markoolio bullshit. It didn’t give anything of value to the show). We also witnessed when they fed the monkeys. That was quite funny to see all the monkeys with their individual behaviours when receiving the food. Oh yeah, we attended a kickass bird show too. An eagle, a falcon, two vultures, an owl and probably some other birds I can’t remember were giving us a kickass show I will have a hard time forgetting.

Big thanks to Carina who took me in for free via her work privilegies. Pictures can be found via the links below. Soon there will be some video-clips on YouTube too.

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Imagine a movie that is a combination of Dark City, The Matrix, Final Destination and Buffy The Vampire Slayer and you’re almost there.

I must say that The Deaths Of Ian Stone starts off pretty good. This Ian Stone dude is killed, but wakes up in another life as nothing has happened. Then he is killed again, and again, and again, and again – everytime in a different way and every time he recalls more and more of what has been going on.

There you have your Sixth Sense type of plot, and it is all good. But, then they had of course go into that demon-fetischism and drag it a bit too far for me to really enjoy the movie. Yes, I usually like when there are a lot of supernatural stuff like demons, ghosts, blood, superhuman creatures and stuff like that – but I didn’t expect these elements to be a part of this movie. And I must say I think it would have done well to leave those elements out of it too.

Oh, and another thing – the ending sucked. Way too happy and cheesy. What was starting out as an excellent movie turned out to be a disappointment. Not that it is totally worthless; I didn’t find it so bad I turned it off, but still it didn’t meet up with my expectations. Special-effects were decent and acting were okay, so I won’t complain about those factors.

If you’re prepared for that demon-feast then you should go grab this movie. You may like it then. But, if you as I thought this was a movie of mystery with a slight supernatural touch then you’re in for a surprise and a dissapointment.

Fuck yeah! The Best Movie Of All Time. I promise you. Just got back home from the movie theater and I am truly amazed. Didn’t know much about District-9 before attending the movie, except it was about aliens inhabiting Johannesburg (South Africa for you geographically retarded monkeyfucks out there) and being treated like shit by humans. And now they want to go home. But the humans say they can’t, instead they’re gonna build Auschwitz á la South Africa for them instead. The aliens are like…. fuck that, then we’re gonna beat the crap out of you. (Not really like that, but you get the point. Read the god damn synopsis at IMDB if you want to).

This movie really has everything. Action, gore (lots of gore and of excellent quality too!), kickass weapons of epic awesomeness, wonderful special effects, african weapondealers, a great intruiging plot, revenge, some comedy, superb acting, wonderful actors and like everything else you can ask for.

It also raises questions about morality and what happens when treating a minority like shit. Of course a private company is portrayed as the bad guys here (they enjoy beating down aliens that hasn’t done anything wrong). Many people have tried to make this to some kind of critique against private armies and the private business sector in general. But what they seem to forget is that it is the government that employs the private army and gives them their mission. Governmental suppression is never good; regardless if it is via direct action with their own forces or via a private army. This has nothing to do with private enterprises at all, you sorry mislead donkeydicks.

Not only do you get aliens, super kickass weapons and a lot of gore – you also get mechas! This robot is a mean motherfucker you don’t wanna mess with.

Leaving the politics behind, you’re left with nothing but awesomeness. Real awesomeness. District-9 starts off as a documentary, and it keeps being displayed in that format for the major part of the film.

The aliens are portrayed in an excellent way, making them almost human and creating that compassionate feeling for them and their hard situation they are in on planet Earth. Sharlto Copley is truly brilliant in his role as Wikus Van De Merwe. I hope he gets an oscar for his contribution. And I hope this movie wins a lot of fucking awards. It deserves them.

This dude is fucking brilliant. One of the best actors I’ve seen. And the character he plays is so cool. He’s one of those dudes you hate at first, but then somewhere in the middle of the movie you’ll switch sides onto his side and hopes he open a can of whuppass on every last motherfucker on earth.

I can’t praise this enough. It’s so good, I’m considering to go see it once again. That’s right; I’m considering to actually pay money to see this movie again. It was fan-fucking-tastic, nothing could ever come close to be compared to this masterpiece.

Mothership!

The best thing is that D-9 makes you think and reflect at the same time it serves you a blood-bath of action scenes. It makes you feel something. It raises feelings of compassion, feelings of hate, feelings of so much deserved revenge. And no, it is not american. It is not a Hollywood blockbuster. It is something much better, much more enjoyable than that. Sci-Fi without being nerdy. Now, let me get my hands on the prequel to this movie – Alive In Joburg (2005). Just a 6 minutes long prequel, but I gotta see it.

And a big thank you goes out to Carina who managed to get me free tickets for this one. Thanks, baby!

I think I’ve found my favourite movie of all time. There’s no doubt. You GOT to see District-9. You can’t afford not watching it. It’s not as good as it has been hyped up to be. IT IS BETTER. It is a pure masterpiece.

MASTERPIECE

What a fucking piece of shit. Seriously. I thought that the special effects would save the movie from hitting rock bottom of suckyness. It didn’t.

First of all. If his head (scull) is burning – and his hands too – why the hell doesn’t his t-shirt (made of fucking cotton!) burn too? And why the hell is he still buff if he’s transformed to this skeleton? I don’t get it. But luckily Mr. Flack explained this to me; it’s magic fire he’s surrounded by. Magic fire that doesn’t burn cotton and making him look more buff that he’s supposed to be. Right. Didn’t think of that.

Second of all; he’s saving this fat ugly chicked from being robbed by this lowlife scumbag. What the hell for? He won’t get laid (and I’d be surprised if he wanted to get laid by her too).

So, what do we get here? You all know the story I think. Johnny Blaze has this motorcycle show with his dad. His dad gets sick. Johnny seals a deal with the devil making his dad well again (although killed just moments later). As the devil owns Johnny’s soul, Johnny is set on a mission to fight against the devil’s son since the son of a bitch is hungry for power, threatening to become more powerful than his devil dad.

Then you have this sad love story, some pretty cool motorcycle scenes (although not cool enough to make the movie good), and… yeah, that’s it.

Crappy acting, seriously bad “dialogue”, predictable story as well as ending, blah blah blah, no surprises at all – definitely one of the fucking worst Marvel movies to date (except Fantastic 4. But that movie had at least Jessica Alba. Our main female character in this movie is not nearly as hot as her).

No, you won’t read about any comparison about the comic since I haven’t read the god damn Ghost Rider comic. And I hate all those pretentious bastards always stating stuff like “boohoooohhhhh the movie didn’t stay true to the comic, buew huew, cry cry cry cry whine whine whine whine”. Fuck you. The movie is either good or bad, regardless if it stays true to the comic or not. What I really want to say is that I hate you fanatic Ghost Rider fanboys out there with no sense of taste at all. Yeah, keep those hate mails coming fuckers! I couldn’t care less.

Well, to summarize things there’s just one thing to say about watching this movie: don’t.

This is as cool as it gets. You’ve seen it now. Now go away.

Here they finally are! The playlist on youtube. Or, watch them here directly:

All of them:

1 of 6:

2 of 6:

3 of 6:

4 of 6:

5 of 6:

6 of 6:

Please feel free to comment them

Children Of Dune is a sequel to Dune (1984) (or Dune (2000) if you prefer the mini-TV-series). This is also a mini-series in 3 parts. I must say, that compared to its predecessors this movie adaptation was good. Note that this is not the same as stating it was good. I am just stating that it is better than the prequel movies.

Children of Dune takes place a couple of years after the first Dune. That kickass Muad’Dib dude has disappeared in the desert, presumably dead. His children reigns ‘together’ with their aunt Alia over planet Arrakis. The Fremen aren’t too satisfied with this, since Alia’s rule seems to corrupt the desert, threatening the worms and the production of spice (a.k.a. heroin for Dune-junkies). This, and some urges for revenge for stuff that happened in the previous movies make a lot of conspiracy plans shape up against the Atreides home.

Some things worth noticing:

• The speech Muad’Dib holds in the end (and in the middle of the third part if I remember correctly) is well-known among hardcore people. Dione is famous for sampling stuff from this shit (check out the Kasparov remix too).
• Daniela Amavia, playing Alia Atreides, is one hot piece of ass. I couldn’t find any half-nude pictures of her, but jfgi yourself and you may be more lucky than me.
• Hell of a lot better fights here than in previous movies.
• Not as much complicated intrigues and drama (there are still some of that junk though).

There you go. If you endured the first Dune movie(s) you should grab a hold of this one too. But if you heeded my advice and skipped them, then do not feel any need to see this one either. It won’t make any sense to you.

Yesterday me and my girl attended ‘Augustifesten’ in Norrköping – a party held all over town for 4 days every August. You have a lot of activities (mostly for kids), fireworks, a lot of people roaming the streets and getting in my way, live performances, and a whole lot of other shit. Pretty enjoyable, even if most of the fun were when I was younger.

Anyways, Carina got a pair of new shoes from me; and I can’t believe how happy a woman can get from just that. Pretty amazing I must say. Later on, we had dinner at Restaurant Meze (excellent lebanese food!), met Andree and Joanna by a coincidence, watched the fireworks, went to another bar, got even more drunk, went to a third bar, and then we went home. I think.

It was a really great evening, couldn’t have wished for more. I’m not that hungover today, except that my throat burns like hell. But it was waaay worth it.

Pictures: Facebook | Flickr.

Kickass preparty and kickass party. Nothing more to add, really. The Lineup were the following:

• Jonas Hörnblad
• Scot Project
• DJ Albin

I enjoyed all three acts, but best was of course DJ Albin since there I got my hardstyle and my hardcore. Even oldschool hardstyle (!). Me like. The pictures are online, so just grab them here:

• Preparty: Facebook | Flickr
• Party: Facebook | Flickr

Videos are coming as soon as I get the time to compile my clips. I want to thank all the people joining me that night; it was truly fabulous. I also want to shout out to all my friends who couldn’t make it to the party – I missed you guys.

As I wrote in my review of Hitman, I have this work mate of mine that looks like our hero Number 47 a lot. A LOT. Have a look yerselves:

(Hope you don’t mind me lending the picture, Jonas? ) ;D

I’ve come this far now:

No, I haven’t played the games. Thus, I won’t compare the movie to the games. If you want to read that kind of shit then piss off somewhere else. Hitman. A work of crappy acting, blazing guns, kickass fist fights as well as sword & gun fights by professional hitmen dressed in suits with decent gore and combat skills.

One thing striking me is that our main character, Mr. “Number 47″ really looks like a dude at work. Like carbon copies of each other.

The plot: Number 47 is a genetically engineered hitman. You know, one of those dudes that kill for money. He is hired by a group called ‘The Organization’ (do you smell that sense of originality? I certainly do). It doesn’t take long before our kickass badass bald motherfucker gets involved in a political conspiracy, chased by both vodka-drinking Russian military as well as pussy-ass Interpol agents. Then he also find this girl that gets caught in-between all action, and she (Olga Kurylenko) is hot. Just see the picture below. You may recognize her from Max Payne if you’ve seen that movie (I haven’t). Or, if you are one of those retards that really do enjoy James Bond movies then you absolutely recognize her from Quantum Of Solace. Which, by the way, is one of the most retarded titles for a movie ever. And yes, she is naked in some scenes this movie. Totally naked.

I’m a bit split about making her part of the movie. She is hot, and you want hot babes in your movies. But she hasn’t really any raison d’être. Because, come on – we’re watching a movie about a cold-blooded killer without any compassion for anything. Then they include this girl trying to make him look a bit more ‘human’ or something. I don’t really like it. But I do enjoy laying my eyes on her. So it is truly a double edged sword or however that proverb goes.

Oh, yeah. There’s this funny scene too where he jumps into a hotel room and there’s two teenagers or something playing a video game… guess what game?

Anyways, it’s time for me to stop ranting about Hitman. You should definitely see this one. It is one of the better action movies I’ve seen. No deep story, no fuss, just straight-on asskicking cold action, blood, murder, chases, a hot babe, and a really enjoyable ending.

Watching Hitman won’t give you an opportunity to have sex with this woman. But it is almost as close as it gets.

John Harrison decided to do a remake of the 1984 crappy movie Dune directed by psychopath David Lynch. So storywise, it is the same. The difference? TV format as a mini-series in 3 parts (making a total of about 1,5 x 3 = 4,5 hours of crap) instead of movie format as the previous one. William Hurt plays one of the leading roles. And, as the previous Dune movie this is just drama, drama, drama, drama. And some more drama. And then some shooting (not well done), and then more drama. Boooooooooring!

This wasn’t good at all. Do not waste your time watching this one. I may, however,  give it some credit though. It is not even nearly as fucked up as David Lynch’s original version from -84. No god damn rantings about things that doesn’t make any fucking sense at all (Lynch never makes sense).

But other than that, this is just Dune from 1984 revisited – and longer. Don’t torture yourself.

Deliverance (Swedish title: Den Sista Färden). You know, that movie with the Banjo Duel and that rape scene where the hillbilly forces the fat dude to squeal like a pig. And you know it is a classic movie that everybody is speaking about. That’s like everything you need to know. So now that I’ve YouTubed you with the most important parts of the movie, I’ve spared you the task to view the whole movie.

I’m not saying it’s not worth watching, since you are served with moral ambiguity (who’s right and who’s wrong? what are the morally correct actions to take when murdering a rapist in self-defense?) – and it must have been one of the better movies from the seventies.

Oh yeah, maybe I should say a couple of words about the plot. Four dudes decides to go canoe in a river. Unfortunately two of them get stopped and raped by inbreed motherfuckers. So the other two dudes kills the rapists. And from there on, they’re on the run from bot the hillbillies and tries their best to get away from the police when (if) they arrive back in the civilized world.

There’s nothing more to it. The banjo scene and the squeal scene. That’s it. So go see this classic.

Once upon a time, back in the days, you had some kind of originality. Now you’re nothing more than thieves. Low-life scumbags with no creativity at all. I loved you once in my youth. Now I fucking hate you. How the hell could you be so unoriginal? What the hell happened? The evidence is clear. And this is not the first time. You’ve kept these ripoffs coming the past years with less and less effort of doing something original. Doing something of your own. You did original stuff back in the days. Not anymore.

My respect for you is gone. Gone. For all I care, your music career could just piss off and go to the fucking nine circles of hell and stay there. Please.

Written by Ayn Rand, starring Gary Cooper and directed by King Vidor. As I wrote in my review of the book The Fountainhead, I would see if I could get hold of a copy of this movie. I did get a hold of it.

The Fountainhead were actually not that good. It may be because I’m having difficulties handling the kind of awkward acting and sceneries in those movies from the 40’s. It all feels so… strained. Especially the dialogue. It can’t be helped I guess. Luckily Ayn Rand herself participated in the making of the movie, forcing the director to include the core meaning of her theories in the book for the movie adaptation. The struggle of the individual against the collective and the theory of objectivism is displayed very well in the ending of the movie, where our protagonist Howard Roark has his last speech in the courtrooom. Which, by the way is quite funny: Gary Cooper didn’t even understand the meaning of his whole speech (apparently), and Warner Bros wanted to cut it short. Ayn Rand went fucking furious and threatened to abandon the whole movie if they didn’t include the whole speech intact. Warner Bros pooped in their pants and agreed to Rand’s demands. Truly amazing, and much like the main protagonist in the story too; Howard Roark never compromises anything in his work. Never.

But besides that there isn’t much to get from the movie. I rather suggest you read the book instead. This was not really worth watching. I’m just glad it was made, spreading the ideas of Ayn Rand to the world in a wide manner, beating down those who think that the collective is superior to the individual. Fuck you.

Hilariously funny! Have a look at my Facebook album and then try it yourself! (Flickr slideshow)

Original picture:

One of the results:

Some old photos from like 2 weeks ago or something. Dennis came over to my crib, so he, I and Carina had some dinner and stuff.

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A complete day at Gransjönäsbadet, Åby. I let the picutres speak for themselves.

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I, Junior and Noordz went out to Näkna for a revisit since it was so hot that summer day. The wind were quite strong, but besides that the day was perfect. Too bad Junior got so fucking restless he couldn’t stand just being there and relax . So we deserted the grass and water after only a couple of hours.

Anyways, here are the pictures:

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…couldn’t get much better than this. First a wonderful time at Näkna (on the way out to Sörsjön by Åby) with Arvid, Kim & company. Then, some food at the MAXI-area where I picked up Carina after her work. Thereafter we went out to Gransjönäs for more sun and bathing. Kickass! I want more of these days…

Photos:

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Me, Carlos, Andree and Joanna enjoyed a truly wonderful summer day on my vacation. First of we went out early to sunbathe and swim in the lake, whereafter we played some AQUA golf (I didn’t win anything ). We ended the day by chilling on my backyard. One of the better days this summer I’d say. Thanks guys and girl for making the day!

Photos:

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I had the pleasure of enjoying a couple of hours with my oldschool friends Jonathan and Felicia. We went out to Gransjönäsbadet in Åby to enjoy the sun and lake. Here are the image documentation.

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Here are some pictures from the day when me and Carina first went to Gransjönäs. It wasn’t that sunny, but the temperature were quite nice.

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My other aunt Gunilla’s husband Ove celebrated his 60th birthday a couple of days ago. The event was quite relaxed, just being at home with the nearest family and friends. Unfortunately I didn’t show up until late in the evening, but it was great when I got there. The food was great (especially the dessert) and I got fat .

Photos:

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Last weekend me and Felicia + her boyfriend Jocke and two of their friends tried out the newly started Meze Restaurant in Norrköping. Since my uncle closed Restaurang Beirut there hasn’t been any lebanese food to eat in Norrköping (except when visiting my relatives, like grandma). Anyhow, the food was extremely delicious, not that expensive and the setting was wonderful. I have to go there again some day soon.

Photos:

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