You all probably know that I’m a sucker for zombie movies. Well, this time I thought I’d do something different. Watch a zombie movie that isn’t supposed to be scary – a comedy. Fido is supposed to take  place in an alternative 1950’s, where “space particles” have dropped down on earth, making the dead alive again. However, there’s this corporation, ZomCon that has developed a kind of necklace for the zombies making them more like slaves (or pets, for families to buy).

The movie then continues to follow one certain family who gets a zombie (naming it Fido), and – of course – getting more and more attached to their new flesh-eating friend.

It is messy and gory sometimes, but not scary at all (which it isn’t supposed to be either). It makes fun of the regular zombie facts from other movies. I guess you can compare this one to that other alternative 50’s satirical comedy; Mars Attacks (except it is about zombies instead of aliens invading earth).

I kinda like all that ‘art deco’-ish stuff from the fifties that is portrayed in the movie, and I enjoyed the story as well. Also, Carrie-Anne Moss is quite hot in her role as the mom in the family. Even if you’re not a big fan of zombie flicks I think you like this one. Give yourself a no-brainer for a while and enjoy Fido. It’s nice to laugh once in a while.

Okay. First mistake: Trying to make a detective thriller and using made-up technology and basing the whole story on that crap. (“Bending space and time”… C’mon!) Second mistake: Make the protagonist step away from his usual line of duty ’cause there’s a girl he doesn’t even know but has to be part of the movie (sheeeeesh….!). Third mistake: Making a movie too fucking long! 2 hours and 6 minutes is way too much for a movie that contains almost no nudity and far to little explosions.

Another thing to note is that Val Kilmer has become a fatass. He’s not as cool as he was in Top Gun. Furthermore, Denzel Washington is not as kickass as he is in many of his other roles.

Besides these things the movie were quite entertaining. It starts with some dude blowing up a boat full of marines and their families. Then Denzel comes into the game trying to solve the crime with the help from a special unit in the FBI (or sum’thin). This special unit has equipment which bends time and space letting them look into the past in like…. real time. Hence the name of the title, Deja Vu. (Fucking crap, I’d thought there would be a bit more making you think. Like Memento-style or something, revealing new facts as the movie evolves and giving you a ass-kicking twist in the end. It tried, but didn’t really succeed).

So what’s my final verdict? Quite entertaining if you ignore my points stated above, and you may give it a try if you’re really into criminal thrillers and stuff like that. It wasn’t the best movie ever watched, but it didn’t really suck either.

Science-Fiction. One of those genres where the movies either really really sucks or are really really great. Except this one. This was just plain weird. Dante 01 is like a science fiction version of Jesus’ life. There’s a prison out in space located in orbit around a planet made of magma called Dante 01. Then this new prisoner comes to this prison (which, by the way, is some kind of research facility at the same time. They conduct experiment on the prisoners, which in turn are all some kind of psychopats).

Then there’s all this weird stuff happening which I guess you can map onto my man Jesus’ stuff. There’s like the sacrifiction of his own body to save the dumbasses left on the ship, healing wounded people, he gets stabbed in his stomach and dies and then is resurrected, there’s a lot of cross (symbol) references too.

Don’t take it for religious propaganda though. There is a good deal of blood and other entertaining stuff like one dude getting boiled alive and then some other strange stuff going on. It’s a kind of short movie too. Just 1 hour and 20 minutes long (that’s about enogh! Why don’t directors make more movies these short anymore? Kudoz to director Marc Caro for not prolonging it too much).

The ending credits were pretty cool too.

Give it a go, but be prepared for some really weird and sometimes pseudointellectual shit.

This was kind of hilarious (note: in swedish).

This is a kind of “documentary”, more biased than North Korea’s domestic politics. I just got mad watching it since it contains so much fucking bullshit. Throughout this post I think you will read me swearing more than I used to. That is because it is so full of BULLSHIT.

Anyways, the main point the director is trying to make is that we’re consuming too much. So as a center figure some retard gets several minutes of fame since he’s one of the most known profiles behind the Seattle riots thingie that occured a couple of years ago. I can’t recall his name, and his name isn’t even worth mentioning on my blog since he’s a low-life dipshit that just spits out bullshit faster than a minigun spits bullets.

So I’ve summarized some quotes from the movie and my comments for these:

“Property damage is not violence”

Okay… if you say so dipshit. How the fucking HELL can it not be violence if you are violent towards a building, a car, of anything else that is either alive or dead materia, and especially if it belongs to someone else. If you’d smash up my bike for instance, I’d consider it an act of violence and I’d open up a can of whuppass on your sorry fucking self.

“it is not violence unless you attack a certain individual”

See statement above. I’d fucking kill you with my bare hands if you’d attack something belonging to me and ruining it.

“Going out protesting isn’t violence. [...]. Do dope and watch MTV and then go get a job and then just schlop along. To me that is violence.”

Somewhere around here I decided that this god damn deuchebag is a fucking moron with no sense of reality.

“Life of consuming is not satisfying”

Fuck off, I love my PlayStation 3. I love my squeezebox. Just go to hell and go to your stoneage-ish fucked up amish idiocracy and have some fun then, you retard.

How hard is it really? If you don’t wanna buy stuff THEN DON’T! Don’t come here and try to tell me what I should do and not do. Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me. And you are stupid as you try to state consuming <=> unhappyness as a fact instead of a conditional theory.

“It has to be stopped, it has to be destroyed.” (about consuming).

What the fucking hell. Don’t you forget the good things it brings? What about wealth, health (including healthcare and “uneccessary” things like that, that you propose we should destroy). Without commercialism and (free) trade there can be no wealth of nations. Without wealth of nations there can be no good life
standards.

And this “documentary” really is made as brain washing material. There is like this subliminal music in the background and the same video clips are showed again and again and again, making you want to puke since it’s so full of ill-smelling BULLSHIT. All in all they seemed to forget some keywords when trying to fit this into the real world: living standards.

“Cuba is the most democratical country in the whole wide world”.

…! I turned the documentary off after hearing that statement. How bigoted can you really become?

“Otherwise people would just need a good job to be happy. But who is really happy?”

I am, you dick. And a whole lot of other people with me. Stop being such a fucking serious-looking negative fucking DICK, you piece of shit. Ooooh I’d like to smash you so much in your god damn sad-looking ugly fucking poor excuse for a face. Since it seems to be your wish to return human kind to the stone age, I’d gladly hit you so hard so even space and time will bend and take you there. Fuck you.

They only got one thing right. Steve Ballmer is totally fucking inzane .

I saw this documentary yesterday and it made me pissed. The swedish conservative bitch either (a) does not know what the hell she is speaking about, or (b) succeeds in pulling several lies in just a couple of minutes. Just watch it and see for yourself. You may or you may not agree that a prohibition is bad for people in the long run – regardless of what, it is scary to see that sooo much inadequate facts have been brainwashed in so many peoples minds that they do not longer see the core issue nor the people that get hurt in the process.

Get some sense of reality, woman!

Here are (finally!) my movies from that night. You can stop your bitching now Noordz, or I’ll kick my boot up your ass =). The clips resulted in 2 videos, with kinda crappy quality since the light down there in the basement isn’t the best in the world exactly…

(Here’s my old post with a minor party report)

I know. I sat Uwe Boll and you say “Boooooo!”. I say movie adaptions of video games and you say “Go fuck yourself you fucktard”. And you are probably right.

But I must hand it to Mr. Boll this time. Postal is a truly entertaining movie, being satirical over so many things it would take ages for me to describe them all here. Violence, George Bush and Osama bin Laden, conspiracy theories, Uwe Boll himself and his bad rumour – the list goes on regarding what they’re making fun of. It’s really nice to see that he has such a good self distance that he’s able to make fun of all these things. I really liked Postal, despite the fact that I had really anticipated to see a pile of pure junk.

It was too long ago I played the Postal game to really draw any parallells. There’s probably plenty of other gaming freaks out there with nerdy blogs who’ve already done that, so I leave that up to you and Google to find out.

Besides starring a lot of half-known actors (who’ve mostly starred in B-action movies and some low budget horror flicks), there’s a ton of sexy ladies in the movie. That I like a lot! And the nudeness. Just see the picture below for evidence:

Those pieces of ass are reason enough to go see Postal. Rawr!

It was funny, it was messy, it was satirical – I liked it a lot. I must say that this piece of satire was far more entertaining than most other “high-classy” comedies aiming at the same thing (read: Mel Brooks).

Go postal and go see Postal (haha, yeah, I made that up right now too. Damn I’m good at this!)

Beneath Still Waters is a spanish horror movie that (I think) was dubbed to english in the version I saw. If it wasn’t it was some pretty damn bad voice acting from the actors and actresses. There’s a whole lot of stuff in the movie which are really stupid. Like one dude who is locked inside some really sturdy metal bars, but his hands are tied together with a rope. So when a boy comes and cuts the ropes in the beginning of the movie, he just rips all those metal stuff away from his neck, legs and everything.

Come-fucking-on! If you can rip metal apart, why the hell can’t you rip yourself loose from a tiny fucking rope? These kind of things make me mad. Never mind there’s a lot of other supernatural stuff, that’s like… almost natural nowadays. But these misses are fucking the rest up bigtime.

Story: Read for yourself, bitches! I watched this movie on my Samsung Omnia during a couple of rides to and from my work, so the screen may not have given it justice to its true potential (if there were any). I just discovere poo-tential (haha! I just made that up!).

Nah but seriously, this wasn’t much to have really. You’re better of spending your time watching Postal, which I will review next time. I think.

Four people solving one problem. That’s the way it should be .

The other day I came up with something that taste like really great. Just cook some tagliatelle, take one piece of chicken filet and chop it up. Fry the chicken filet pieces and add some spice (paprika powder, black pepper and curry for example). Mix it with the tagliatelle in the pot after pouring out the water and add some fat cream for food preparation.

Serve with pesto genovese on top and add some parmesan or grated cheese. Tasty as hell!

Thursday this week (two days ago) me, my babe Carina, Emma and Dennis attended the tapas restaurant La Uva in Söderköping. It was a great evening with good weather (letting us sit outside without freezing our asses off) and gastronomically sensational food. I ordered aioli, garlic bread, calamares (x2), chicken coquettes (x2), minced meat on sticks (like kebab) with some kind of tomato sauce, and some beer to drink.

After the dinner we sauntered around in the great village of Söderköping, and climbed up on top of Ramunderberget (seriously, that really took out all power from me).

On our way hoime we stopped to get some ice cream for the ladies, since their cravings for edible stuff didn’t seem to cease at all. Enjoy the Flickr slideshow or the Facebook album!

Two of my favourite girls =D

’nuff said.

Swedish title for this collection of King-novels is “Den förskräckliga apan (och andra berättelser)“. Consists of 22 short stories among with an introduction and some writer notes in the end. It took me some time to get through the book – mostly because I’ve spent my time on other things than reading. Most of the stories are good and strange – just like it usually is when it comes to King. And I like it. One of the better (and longer) stories in the book is The Mist, as I wrote a movie review of a while ago.

The novel format is quite nice for reading, especially when your time is sparse. You can finish a novel and leave the book for a couple of days and you don’t need to recollect what happened earlier when starting to read the next novel in the collection.

Next book to read: The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand (swedish title: “Urkällan“).

I made a decision and I bought it!

I decided to see this scary japanese horror movie by myself tonight. Bad decision. It scared the living creeps out of me. It’s something with japanese people and their horror movies which are far more effective than those Hollywood crappy movies made with faar to large budgets. Apartment 1303 was really great as a j-horror movie. If you liked those other famous ones (Ringu (The Ring), Ju-On (The Grudge) and so on) you’ll probably like this one too.

This is like a classic ghost story. A girl lives together with her mother, and one day the girl kills her mother after her mother going a bit too insane on her ass. Then the apartment they lived in becomes haunted and people living in the apartment (on the 13th floor – hence Apartment 1303) drops dead by…. yeah, literally dropping dead. Jumping off from the balcony that far up is not good for your health.

The main character, one girl who tries to find out what really happened to those girls, is kinda hot. That’s some bonus points for the movie.

It may not look so classy from the pictures I’ve posted here, but I suggest you see this one and then pee in your pants like the wuss you are. Some trivia: Seems like there were two swedes who co-produced this movie (can’t recall the names now and I won’t start the movie again just to find out…) Per something-something I thin and Fredrik-something-else-something-else.

I’m tired and I’m gonna try to get some sleep now, but please do give Apartment 1303 a chance – it is definitely worth it!

I’m thinking about buying a Squeezebox Boom. I’m not sure though, since I don’t know if I can motivate my usage for this little toy when it costs around 2000 SEK. But it is a damn cool toy!

They are some crazy fucking animals. I’m quite fascinated. It looks like it’s just a giant black hole into their stomachs and then there’s like some sharp teeth and a kickass killer instinct. Wouldn’t want to swim with those fuckers.

Some people say it’s a masterpiece. I say it’s fucking retarded. After so many years (I mean, the movie was made the same year I was born) I’ve finally come around to see it. Dune is based on the novel by Frank Herbert with the same name. It’s kind of hard to not consider it retarded since it was made by David Lynch – the master of making movies no sane person would ever understand. You say he’s clever and making statements in all those surreal and weird stuff? I say he’s had too many mushrooms or drank a bit too much of Hoffman’s medicine.

Putting Lynch crazyness aside, there’s a bunch of known names in the movie. Kyle MacLachlan (who Lynch reused for his fucked up TV-series Twin Peaks later on – poor Kyle… ), Sting (!), Patrick Stewart (known from that crappy series Star Trek), Max von Sydow and a whole lot of others.

The story… well, that was the part of the movie that made me think it fucking sucked. There’s waaay to many names and characters to keep track of, and too many intrigues. I didn’t get jack shit from all the bullshit the narrator sprouted out at me. There’s like… a baron, an emperor, several families and some weird women who can read minds or sum’thin’, some kind of desert people – and all these people are trying to fuck the other parties over, in the hunt for some weird ass spice at a planet called Dune.

Fuck that.

The only kickass things about the movie were the sandworms. They were huge and swallowed like everything. Oh, and one thing to note is that I saw the extended version of the movie. It was like more than 3 hours long. 3 hours of tremendous agony.

So, as a a summary: Too much drama, too little space-fighting-action (and when they actually fought it was like catastrophically bad), too long, too weird dialogues as well as monologues, too messy storyline and not enought good-looking naked chicks (which would’ve made up for all the bad stuff).

(kudoz to the Flack for sending me the link)

This is one of the reasons why I neither watch nor like Star Trek…

Funny guy!

I also uploaded some other pictures from the day after Emmas Moving Out Party (the last four in the set). Something to note is that I used ShoZu to upload the images straight from my Samsung Omnia phone. Works like a charm! (It does not however give you pleasing results when uploading directly to my blog, as you may have seen in the previous posts containing just a picture and no text…)

Some pictures from a couple of weeks ago when Carina and I decided to take a tour out to Aborreberg. Too bad the place was closed, but the sunset was nice anyways. And I can’t complain about the company either .

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Here are some pictures from last saturday. Only uploaded to Flickr as of now, they maybe will reach Facebook later on.

After like… waaay to long time after everybody else I finally got around to see this movie. And I am glad I did! It was fucking kickass in a whole another category. For synopsis – read the god damn IMDB summary. I can tell you this much. The crazy main character Anton Chigurh made the whole movie. He’s such a cold-blooded killer you’ve never seen anything like it before. And he’s mentally disturbed with a face that really shines insanity. Just look at him at the picture below. There you have it. Like serial killer paradise.

This is one of very few movies both Carina and I appreciated. Since our taste for movies diverge more than liberals and communists, this really amazes me. I won’t spend any more bullshit on writing this post, go ahead and see the movie instead. It’s like even worth watching several times. I promise.

The face of death coming to get you, biaaaaatch!

For you swedes out there. Watch this and agree with Tanja. If not, then you’re stupid and a chickenshit with no cojones and I hate you. Go to hell.

Just one question…. who the fuck is that dude who is interviewing her in the second clip? He seems kinda… umm… you know like… something’s not right there. But anyways, have a blast!

My partner in crime at work Magnus gave me this link to Tanja Bergkvist’s Blog (in swedish). You should read the article and be amazed over how retarded some people actually are (I totally agree with Tanja in her post). I browsed some more of her blog and my first impression is that there is a lot of good stuff to get there. Too bad that time is sparse, else I would’ve probably dwelled in her articles a whole lot more. Maybe a project for the future.