Junior has spent like…all sunday making logotypes for me in Photoshop. Big Kudoz for that, dude! Here’s the result:

I also tried my own Photoshop skills (or lack thereof) and produced this sucker:

Not that good, but it’ll do.

Anyways, big thanks to Junior for spending all friggin’ day making these suckers for me. Thanks!

I just love the Tales from the Crypt movies. They are funny, they are sometimes gory, and they remind me of my youth (yeah I am old – already spent 23 years on this earth!).

This time, the Cryptkeeper presents his story Bordello of Blood. It is a full length movie about some fucktards visiting a whorehouse run by vampires. It sounds cool and it is cool. Core to the bone, in fact.

We get all the necessary ingredients of a good horror movie. The chicks, the gore, the weird people, the stupid teenagers, and the humour. You name it – it is there. I must admit that they have good taste in their jokes. For example, you can hear the main character say stuff like “I feel like I am in a bad Tales from the Crypt movie”.

Besides, Whoopi Goldberg guest stars as a patient at the hospital. She’s got only like one line. And, a very important side note – a midget starrs in this movie too. There seems to be a lot of dwarfs in movies I’ve seen lately. The fact that the dudes kill almost all of the vampires with nothing less than – hold it, hold it – water guns (!) makes it even more funny.

Don’t miss this golden masterpiece. It has everything you need to be entertained.

This is the 800th post on my blog. Jesus christ that’s hell of a lot of posts.

Junior is kind enough to design a logotype for me (kudoz!). You can see his work to the right (the pic with the gas mask). I tried to do something myself too; the scorpion inside the escutcheon. Now he’s working on something else – I’m anticipating the end results!

Bloody Mallory. Like…a french version of BloodRayne or Buffy. The movie stars two leatherwearing bitches and a little telepathetic (haha) girl, which together with some kind of inspector hunts evil motherfuckers. The Pope himself gets kidnapped and it will be up to this team of ’superheros’ to rescue him. Alongside a lot of humour there are even some rightful criticism of the catholic church. This is some funny shit!

I can just say that if you were one of the evil ghouls they are hunting, you’d surely start to laugh when they show up. I did, when they arrived at the first crime scene. Imagine this yourself: They are all wearing fucked up clothing in all kinds of colours, and haircuts which are not from this planet. It’s ridiculous, and funny. There are this crazy stuff in the movie too. Like platform shoes which contains four automatic guns, or a crucifix which sprays holy water and makes the heads of the vampires explode (cool scene by the way!)

Another negative point to this movie is that they speak french. French people suck, and their language suck even more. I must admit though that they do know how to make humorous horror flicks. Like this one. Kudos so the french for this not-so-scary but oh-so-funny b-movie. They even added some Anime-running special effects in the fights! How can you not love that?

It is nice to see that the “good” side (i.e. – God’s side) for once has some kickass fighters on its side and not a bunch of whining pacifists. This reminds me a lot of Spawn. You know, Todd McFarlane’s comic book. That is one series where Gods angels really kick some satanic butt.

Here’s the heros and some evil fucktards. What a freakshow!

This is really a good, funny mobie. Don’t expect it to be gory or scary though. It should be classified as a comedy. With a fucked up language. To illustrate how bizarre it really is, please enjoy the following pictures taken from the movie. And then go rent Bloody Mallory.

“I’m evil and a bitch. Please do me ’cause I’m french and promiscuous”.

Vampire babies. Or whatever.

How to not look cool when driving a car – wear ugly ass sunglasses and gloves with fingers cut off.

Aaaaand finally, a big WTF. Two S/M Vampires. Or sumthin…

Why wasn’t I there… :’(

Well, at least I can comfort myself with the fact that the anthem sucked big time this year. But the party, the people, the music…! I want it now.