Me and Carina had a movie night the other day, but we had hard time deciding what to see. I suggested Attack Girl’s Swim Team versus The Undead that I’ve borrowed from Mark at work – but she just looked at me in a strange way. Didn’t  really understand why.

So the choice fell upon either The Spirit, V for Vendetta or the Perfume. I chose The Spirit (already seen V and The Perfume looked pretty gay). However, she’s a woman of strong will and she totally dissed my suggestion of The Spirit – thus, we settled for The Perfume since I’ve already seen V for Vendetta. Like three times.

Anyways. I was prejudiced. I didn’t understand how you could make a whole fucking movie about a perfume (!) That’s ridiculous. So anyway, we’re watching this dude getting born in Paris with an extraordinary sense of smell. He can smell like everything and deduce what the smells consist of. He meets this girl that smells wonderful, but accidentially kills her in his hunt for her smell. When she dies her smell fades away. So he devotes his life to gaining knowledge of how to preserve scents.

Carina is the girl that dislikes unrealistic movies. Considering that in the end of this movie there’s a giant naked orgy with 750 people and our main dude escapes the executioner just because he’s got a perfume on his skin – well, that’s something I would definitely call unrealistic. However, it seems like her notion of ‘unrealistic’ is a bit biased.

Anyways, I wouldn’t say that The Perfume is a total waste of time. I was prejudiced, and I was right in my preconceptions. It was gay and really a movie for women. Furthermore, I really dislike that they didn’t speak the language of the country they were supposed to be in (France). I do however understand the decision to make all dialogue in english since french is like the most obnoxious, gay language ever in human history.

But, for being a kind of tacky story the performance was still good. This is perfect for you to put on when you’re bringing home a woman for a movie night. Cause your goal should be to get her in bed – not watch a good movie together. Then this is it.

He does this with his perfume on a handkerchief and then suddenly everybody just goes crazy and fuck eachothers brains out.

I’ve been back at my old university (Linköpings University) to represent Ericsson on LARM (Linköpings Arbetsmarknadsdagar). Two days of constant talking to students and a banquette in the evening. It was fucking kickass! See the pictures here. Some are shown below.

For several years this movie has been on my gotta-see-sometime-list. I finally did see it. What I didn’t know was that there’s a Broadway musical from 1979 with the same name. Thus, I was in for a lot of singing. Like in The Nightmare Before Christmas – but worse. Cause there’s actually just one thing I dislike about this Tim Burton movie – and that is all the fucking singing.

If the whole thing would’ve been made like a regular movie instead without the actors ranting around singing, I would endorse it fully. Anyways. Sweeney Todd. The plot:

Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp), a skilled barber, is falsely charged and sentenced to a life of hard labor in Australia by the corrupt Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman), who lusts after Barker’s wife Lucy (Laura Michelle Kelly). Now under the assumed name “Sweeney Todd”, Barker returns to London with sailor Anthony Hope (Jamie Campbell Bower). At his old Fleet Street lodgings above Mrs. Nellie Lovett’s (Helena Bonham Carter) pie shop, he discovers that Lucy, having been raped by Turpin, has poisoned herself, and his teenage daughter Johanna (Jayne Wisener) is now Turpin’s ward, and like her mother before her, is the object of his unwanted affections. Todd vows revenge, reopening his barber shop in the upstairs flat. And boy does the blood flow.

As I’ve said in previous reviews I’m really fascinated by that typical Burton gothic esthetics – and you get plenty of that in this movie too (as you may already tell from the poster).

Even though all the singing and everything is annoying in the start, you get used to it and don’t mind it as much as the movie proceeds. Some people would say that the musical part is the charm of the whole thing. Those people don’t know what the hell they are talking about. Anyways, good story of revenge and how it isn’t always sweet. Johnny Depp and Sascha Baron Cohen (yes, he’s actually playing a major part in the first half of the movie) perform excellent as always.

If you feel that you can take a little (well, maybe not so little) singing for seeing a lot of people get their throats slit – then you’re in for a really good movie.

Had a night out with my parents the other day. We were supposed to go see a movie. Since their taste in movies is so disparate, Sherlock Holmes seemed like a good compromise between brutal badass action (dad) and a bit more sophisticated crime story (mom). And, since it was Guy Ritchie who directed this one, the choice of Sherlock Holmes for the movie of the evening wasn’t hard.

Plot: After finally catching serial killer and occult “sorcerer” Lord Blackwood, legendary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson can close yet another successful case. But when Blackwood mysteriously returns from the grave and resumes his killing spree, Holmes must take up the hunt once again. Contending with his partner’s new fiancée and the dimwitted head of Scotland Yard, the dauntless detective must unravel the clues that will lead him into a twisted web of murder, deceit, and black magic – and the deadly embrace of temptress Irene Adler.

I really liked the it. This is how Sherlock Holmes is supposed to be, if I am to appreciate him. Robert Downey Jr. does an excellent part as the mastermind himself, and Jude Law is doing great as his partner Watson. Furthermore, the main villain (lord Blackwood, played by Mark Strong which you may remember as Archy from Rocknrolla) really fits in the role as the antagonist. It’s brutal. It’s clever. It’s fast. It’s filled with smart dialogue as well as monologue. It has its twists and turns, although not as mindfucking as for example The Sixth Sense. And, there’s the badass slow-motion action scenes where Holmes’ initial combat analysis is as thrilling as seeing it being performed. You will know what I mean when you see it.

Sherlock Holmes was – in my world previous to watching this movie – a smart, clever but somewhat boring character. Now I’ve seriously reconsidered my perception of him.

Thank you Ritchie for this one. Kudoz!

A traveler seeking refuge from a storm comes upon a bizarre hermitage of monks, who have imprisoned a man who begs for his help. When he confronts the head monk, he is told that the man is the devil, and the traveler must decide who to believe.

Funny thing is, that Charles Beaumont (writer) had originally envisioned that the monks would keep the Devil imprisoned by putting a cross in front of his cell door. Fearful of a backlash in the religious community, the producers substituted the “staff of truth,” over Beaumont’s objections. Fucking pussies.

I can just say that it is quite annoying to watch stupid characters on screen. Motherfuckers making decisions that are anything but rational makes me sick. This is the case in this episode.

Not considering my allergy against stupidity, this is a really cool episode.

Bartley Finchley hates machines. This may be strange you say. But he hates them because they are trying to kill him. Literally. All the mechanical shit in his house comes to life and tries in one way or another get rid of him. Summing up in a big show in the end when his car is doing its best to run him over, A Thing About Machines makes you kind of happy. Happy because it is a great episode. The only annoying thing is the sound effects. Tires do not screech if spinning on gravel. Do it again and do it right next time, sound effects guy.

Small time criminal Jackie Rhoades must face both his past and his conscience while waiting for his next assignment. Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room is about kicking out the chickenshit in yourself and instead growing a pair of cojones. This is done by watching yourself in the mirror and seeing your mirror image come to life. And then kick you in the nuts and take your place in reality. If it should be interpreted literally or if it just were some metaphorical showcase of Jackie Rhoades mind is up to the viewer to decide.

Classical tale about a genie in a bottle, granting 4 (yes, not the usual three) wishes. An old couple on the brink of ruin stumbles upon this genie. However, their wishes comes with dire consequences…

The Man in the Bottle were kind of predictable but still intruiging, since you knew that things were going to go shit crazy – but not how…

New season, new opening, new narrative with Rod Serling appearing in the actual episodes as either the informative type in the beginning telling something about the current episode – or in the end, telling about the next episode. Kinda like that touch.

In King Nine Will Not Return there’s this pilot who has crashed in the desert with his military aircraft. Based on the mysterious discovery of ‘Lady Be Good’, a B-24 bomber that vanished in 1943. This aircraft was discovered in the Libyan Desert 16 years after it was lost on its way back from a World War II bombing mission to Naples, Italy. The plane was found in 1959, by an oil exploration team, well preserved by the desert environment. The next year the bodies of eight of the nine crew members were recovered.

This is almost the same. Except you have a twist in the end as always with The Twilight Zone. This one was actually quite good.

Written by Richard Matheson, A World Of His Own is one of the better ones. Even the creator of the show Rod Sterling makes an appearance in the episode towards the end. The plot is about an author who, by talking into his tape recorder, can make his characters come to life. He can also make them disappear by burning up the corresponding pieces of tape. When his wife catches him hanging around with another woman (that is one of his characters), things are getting difficult to explain for him. However, there is another twist to the story that makes everything much more interesting…

The Mighty Casey tells the story of a robot Baseball pitcher (looking like a human but missing a heart), and what happens if you put a heart into a robot. Things does not really go the way you might think.

Weak episode.

A woman is in a department store, and takes the elevator up to a non-existing ninth floor. There she finds what she is looking for. However, nobody else seem to know this ninth floor, and it turns out that some of the mannequins really are alive.

The After Hours is a good episode because it uses the doll-having-a-real-life type of fiction and fear. I like that. Dolls and babies are scary shit in horror movies. Although The Twilight Zone isn’t a “horror” show, it still entangles your mind.

(Besides, look at the face of the dude in the picture. Fucking priceless! )

Mr. Bevis is an eccentric dude with a lot of funny business going on. However, these funny businesses seems to get in his way regarding his luck – like keeping his job, his apartment and everything like that. So, his Guardian Angel shows up and tries to aid him. Everything works out except he isn’t really the same Mr. Bevis anymore – there was a price to pay. A price that he may not be so eager to pay.

Good episode. I liked it.

In A Passage for Trumpet, a suicidally despondent trumpet player finds himself in a bizarre world where he seems to be the only moving being, except for one helpful other musician.

I stole the description above from IMDB since the episode wasn’t really good at all, thus I didn’t give it much attention.

A weak ass dude is going crazy as he seems incapable of making a career, not wanting to live such a hectic life. He wants to go back to rustic living, thus fantizising about this town called Willoughby anno 1888. As his wife is puching him more and more, the town seems more real and more appealing to escape to. Too bad there’s a high price to pay for a visit there…

A Stop at Willoughby is an average episode not leaving you with anything special. But still worth watching.

In Nightmare as a Child we meet this rather young lady who has lost her mother. She stumbles upon a little girl who seems to know a bit too much about her and her history, and soon memories from that horrible night when her mother was killed seems to come back – bit by bit…

Rather good episode, and contains a happy ending among everything. Not really expected.

The Chaser – An episode which shows that unconditional love can be a pain in the ass. This dude is in love with a woman, but she is not in love with him. So, he contacts this professor who gives him a love potion, but warns him of the consequences. Of course he doesn’t listen, and soon enough she falls in love with him – and never leaves his side. Being a real pain in the ass since she demands his attention everytime and everywhere, he finally has some regrets about using the potion… thus, seeking the professor for a remedy. It turns out thath  things aren’t that simple though…

A nice touch with the moral of the story.

YouTube – Coone – Twilight Zone (Preview).

Since my webhost decided to upgrade PHP version (to 5.3 I think) I’ve been getting these strange error messages. Figured it had to do with some kind of incompatibility between my old Wordpress version (2.5.3) and this new PHP version.

And it sure had. Just upgraded to Wordpress 2.9.something, and these annoying error and warning messages about deprecated functions were gone.

I also have this brand new more user friendly administraion tool which I’m looking at right now. What more, all of my plugins and widgets were kept intact as far as I can tell right now.

Really painless upgrade process, thank you a lot Wordpress for providing it!

Twelve Monkeys is one of my favourite movies. I like it so much I had to see it again on Blu-ray the other day. 15 years later since it was release, and it still kicks ass.

Twelve Monkeys is all about the Cassandra metaphor. An unknown and lethal virus has wiped out five billion people in 1996. Only 1% of the population has survived by the year 2035, and is forced to live underground. A convict (James Cole, played by Bruce Willis) reluctantly volunteers to be sent back in time to 1996 to gather information about the origin of the epidemic (who he’s told was spread by a mysterious “Army of the Twelve Monkeys”) and locate the virus before it mutates so that scientists can study it. Unfortunately Cole is mistakenly sent to 1990, six years earlier than expected, and is arrested and locked up in a mental institution, where he meets Dr. Kathryn Railly, a psychiatrist, and Jeffrey Goines (played by Brad Pitt, which by the way is a fucking brilliant actor!), the insane son of a famous scientist and virus expert.

The time travelling stuff where bits and pieces fall into place, things and events are tied together as the movie evolves is brilliant. Almost like Memento except you don’t get a headache since it’s not too much of that shit.

All in all a masterpiece everybody must see sometime in their lifetime. Fascinating.

Ritana (really engrish for ‘Returner’. You know how it is when japanese try to speak english and the result is kept as a movie title. Not always such good results) is a really neat japanese sci-fi action movie.

We are in year 2084 (hundred years after my birth! Kickass!). A young japanese girl (Milly) does a Terminator and travels back in time to October 2002, since aliens are threatening to destroy our planet. She accidentially stumbles upon this “City Hunter”-ish dude called Miyamoto, and forces him to help her in her quest to stop the war between the aliens and the earthlings.

But things aren’t really that easy. Of course there’s a antagonist who tries everything to fuck it up for our couple (Mizoguchi, some kind of Yakuza badass motherfucker with grey hair. All badass japanese dudes have grey hair. Just look at Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII. He doesn’t just got gray hair. He’s got shitload of grey hair.) And yes, it turns out that they are all intertwined more delicately than one might suspect in the beginning.

I must say that I am impressed with the gore scenes and bullet time effects used. They do it elegantly. All creds to the choreography and special effects department. However, no creds to the actors. The acting is fucking horrible; it’s nearly as bad as the dialogue. Stiffer talks will you not find anywhere. Almost. It doesn’t even help that most dialogue is in japanese (which is by itself a badass language). The one thing that did it for me was near the end, where they had like the worst fucking crappiest preaching ever (Miyamoto tries to encourage Milly to finish her job with the alien thingies, but she just bawls like a fucking baby).

But, when you do get to see an bigass aircraft being transformed to an alien spaceship – well, you kind of forgive the bad acting and dialogue.

Worth a shot, but you will be annoyed by their talking. I know that.

Another kickass cartoon from Adult Swim, where we get to follow the twins Hank & Dean, the badass motherfucker Brock Samson, Dr. Venture and his arch-nemesis(es), and a lot of other crazy characters (like “Dr. Girlfriend which is supposed to be a really hot girl – with a deep male voice…).

The Venture Bros parody popular culture, super heroes and villains and stuff like that. Especially Johnny Quest if you’ve ever seen that show. Not your regular cartoon so to speak. But you’re dealing with adult swim, so I guess you hadn’t expected anything else. It starts a bit slow in the first episodes, but when you get to know the characters a bit better you get hooked – and really start to enjoy the comedy. The fact that they make fun of those annoying elements in most cartoons (like why the characters never change their fucking clothes) is a really nice touch which shows that there is intelligence in the making.

With a total of three seasons, you’re in for a lot of laughs.

Bourne is once again brought out of hiding, this time inadvertently by London-based reporter Simon Ross who is trying to unveil Operation Blackbriar–an upgrade to Project Treadstone–in a series of newspaper columns. Bourne sets up a meeting with Ross and realizes instantly they’re being scanned. Information from the reporter stirs a new set of memories, and Bourne must finally, ultimately, uncover his dark past whilst dodging The Company’s best efforts in trying to eradicate him.

It helps a great deal if you’ve seen the earlier two installations of the Bourne thrilogy (The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy). You’ll notice towards the end that the chronology that this third movie isn’t really as expected. There’s several flashbacks to the other two films, and sometimes it feels like this one is more of a thing made for trivia.

That doesn’t however mean it’s bad. It’s still a badass movie with kickass action scenes, and Jason Bourne is as brutal as always. An honorable end to a thrilogy which I don’t regret watching.

Oh yeah, regarding the action scenes. There are, as you may know, quite a lot of car chases. A lot. And I do not kid you. I have realized that there actually is a limit to how much car chasing there should be in a movie. Bourne thrilogy (yes all of them) touched this limit, and I may even suggest that they passed it too. But, I’d rather see too much car chasing than some lovey-dovey Hugh Grant boring love drama shit happening. Or that fucking horrible Twilight shit!

Thank you Mats for borrowing me these Blu-Rays, I’ll bring them back to work tomorrow.

One of my all-time favourite movies that I’ve seen I-don’t-know-how-many-times. Truly a masterpiece which I now have enjoyed in 1080p on a Blu-Ray disc.

In the year 2047 a group of astronauts are sent to investigate and salvage the long lost starship “Event Horizon”. The ship disappeared mysteriously 7 years before on its maiden voyage and with its return comes even more mystery as the crew of the “Lewis and Clark” discover the real truth behind its disappearance and something even more terrifying.

Event Horizon can be summarized as a ghost story in space (yes, ghost story like haunted house – not monster movie like big gooey aliens with tentacles). With a lot of delicate messy scenes. Messy scenes with class. This is how a sci-fi movie should be. It’s the absolute definition of great sci-fi horror.

What I like about Event Horizon is that they’re not overdoing it, but keeping it eerie at all time. The only annoying thing is that crew member (of course a woman) who think she sees her son or something and runs after him, getting herself killed. Like… he would be on a ship thousand of miles from earth? How the hell did you figure that to be true, you stupid piece of… stupidhead?

And if watching like the most essential sci-fi horror movie ever wasn’t enough, you’re served with an awesome outro credit roll track; The Prodigy – Funky Shit. And that pretty much concludes what Event Horizon is – some god damn great funky shit!

(And now I’m gonna play some Dead Space, which is like the best space horror game out there. It reminds me a hell of a lot of Event Horizon).

Were at Arvid’s place the other day drinking beer, and saw this movie.

Lenny Cole, a London mob boss, puts the bite on all local real estate transactions. For substantial fees, he’s helping Uri Omovich, a Russian developer. As a sign of good faith, Omovich loans Cole a valuable painting, promptly stolen off Cole’s wall. While Cole’s men, led by the dependable Archie, look for the canvas, three local petty criminals, the Wild Bunch, steal money from the Russian using inside information from his accountant, the lovely Stella. Meanwhile, a local drug-addled rocker, Johnny Quid, is reported drowned, and his connection to Cole is the key to unraveling the deceits and double crosses of life in the underworld.

RocknRolla (yes, spelled exactly that way) is like every other movie by Guy Ritchie excellent in ways of excentric characters, dialogue, portraying the brittish people unlike their common stereotype and instead like real badass gangsters, complicated and entangled storyline where unexpected connections between the included characters are revealed as the movie progresses.

It is not as good as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, or Snatch or Revolver – but really close. It’s not only fast-paced action and superiously great dialogue – there’s always these elements of morbid comedy included.

I had my fair share of laughs and thrills, and as stated earlier the dialogue and the fast switches between scenes and other cinemagraphic tricks makes this a truly entertaining movie you can’t afford to miss.

Went the other day to the cinema with Dennis to watch Avatar. I’ve heard soo much good words about it, so my expectations were seriously high. Bought those “plus chairs” with extra space for the legs, cup holders, neck support and stuff like that. That was awesome and well needed since the movie is like every other fucking movie these days – almost 3 hours long (!). However, the movie was actually so good that it didn’t feel like it had that enormously long running time. Unfortunately this was not a 3D cinema, but I’m thinking about going to see it in 3D anyways. If someone’s up for it then holler!

As you all probably already know what the movie is about, I’ll just quote IMDB. Feel free to skip this section.

When his brother is killed in battle, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on the distant world of Pandora. There he learns of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge’s intentions of driving off the native humanoid “Na’vi” in order to mine for the precious material scattered throughout their rich woodland. In exchange for the spinal surgery that will fix his legs, Jake gathers intel for the cooperating military unit spearheaded by gung-ho Colonel Quaritch, while simultaneously attempting to infiltrate the Na’vi people with the use of an “avatar” identity. While Jake begins to bond with the native tribe and quickly falls in love with the beautiful alien Neytiri, the restless Colonel moves forward with his ruthless extermination tactics, forcing the soldier to take a stand – and fight back in an epic battle for the fate of Pandora.

Avatar is an emotionally filled action sci-fi adventure. Cameron really did a great job on this one. The characters are believable (For example, Stephen Lang does an excellent part as the mean gun-crazy colonel Miles Quaritch), and you feel compelled to be involved with the plot. It doesn’t take long before you’re taking sides and your attention is at top.

There are some really astonishing fight and flight scenes. Graphically it is truly amazing. Especially the forest creatures, the illuminating ultra-violet thingies in the woods at night (making it look like something from a psychedelic backdrop) and the surrounding waters and trees.

Yes, the plot as well as the ending is predictabe. But that doesn’t prohibit it from grabbing your attention all the way from the start and stun you with those amazing visuals. They even bothered to create their own Na’vi language for the movie (an effort making it feel more authentic. Good move). I’ve also heard that there’s supposed to be a Na’vi dictionary in stores now. And I’ll bet pretty much all I own that there will be like millions of spin-offs from this, exploring the world of Pandora even more.

People seem to complain that Cameron has “stolen” stuff from other movies, painted it over with blue color and then produced Avatar. I have just two things to say to you: Get real and fuck off, you little whining Jante Law riding fuckfaces. You’re just a bunch of jealous pricks who aren’t able to admit that Cameron did a great job. Why do you Internet retards always have to have a pole up your asses and complain about everything as if you would’ve done it better? Avatar is a fucking masterpiece, and that’s final. Of course there’s resemblances to other movies, cultures, phenomenon and events – how the hell would you do something that is not insipired from past time? Fucking bunch of whining idiots who hasn’t grown out from your diapers is what you all are.

Anyways. Take the chance to see Avatar while it still is screened in the movie theaters. It’s definitely worth it. I will get back to you if the 3D version is better – if I ever get the chance to see it, that is.

Avatar – I loved it.

Jason Bourne has fled to Goa, India, to presumably enjoy weeklong rave parties, taking LSD and having sex with his girlfriend that he found in the previous movie.

But, of course something has to go wrong. An assassin is on his trail, hunting him down and killing his girlfriend. That means no more sex for Mr. Bourne. And that makes Mr. Bourne pissed. I know I would’ve been.

What more, he’s also falsely accused of murdering some officers and is hunted once again by his former employer (CIA). That means he has to kick some serious ass and open a whole shipload of whuppass on those sons of bitches.

And boy, he does.

I liked The Bourne Supremacy. It did everything right being a sequel. It contained all that wit and glorious action, making Bourne look like somebody you shouldn’t fuck with; you know, almost no weaknesses and stuff like that. Good thing. As in the first movie there’s your regular load of car chases, explosions and stuff like that. Although this isn’t as action-filled as many other movies in the genre, I didn’t feel it was to the film’s disadvantage. In fact, it gave the storytelling more focus and kept the tension up a bit higher than usual.

It wasn’t much “new” stuff though. In the big picture it’s just the first movie continued in the same pace with the (almost) same characters bringing the story forth. Also, I want to give a big thank you to the director for not making the characters say stupid unnecessary things all the time. People often keep blabbering too much in movies. They don’t in this one. Good thing.

And yes, Bourne is a hell of a lot more interesting special-agent-character than that bitch James Bond. I still hate him.

In case you haven’t already heard, we at Ericsson LTE kicked some serious ass! (In Swedish)

Fuck yeah!

When a body is recovered at sea still alive, the mystery man (Damon) seems to have forgotten everything in life, including who he was. Eventually he begins to remember smaller details in life and soon finds out that his name was Jason Bourne. What he doesn’t like is that a gun and fake passports also belong to him. Now Bourne, and his new friend, Marie Helena Kreutz (Potente) travel from country to country in search of his new identity. But, someone else is not happy to see him alive, and is frantically trying to track him down.

I borrowed the whole Bourne series on Blu-ray from a co-worker, and I am not dissapointed after watching this first movie. It’s really neat to see it in Full HD too.

Damon fits perfectly as Jason Bourne, and we once again see Chris Cooper playing the role of a badass government dude (see The Kingdom and Breach).

Loads of great car chases, fighting scenes and tension. All without really losing the plot or speed in story telling. The only thing I could’ve wished for is that the whole memory loss thing wasn’t blown away so early in the movie. There’s no real unexpected twists, surprises or anything like that.

Anyhow. It’s like a James Bond movie – except that this one is good (yep that’s right; James Bond sucks).

Let’s just see how the two sequels hold up to this.